The Discovery and Unconditional Love

There's a film about the Flipside that has gained some attention lately - starring Robert Redford, Jason Segal and Rooney Mara.  Written and directed by Charlie McDowell, the premise is that Redford is a scientist who has proved that "there is an Afterlife."

The result of that discovery is that people decide they're going to commit suicide - for whatever reason - they aren't happy here, I guess, but there's an epidemic of people choosing to be somewhere else rather than being here.  It's so pervasive that people just can't wait to get off the planet, and depending upon whatever their feeling is at the moment, they're dropping like flies.


Which is pretty funny if you think about it.  (Actually, I laughed often watching the film, seeing the writing of it as a comedy, and the dark music and cinematography betrayed what is - in my mind - a dark comedy).  People who are so unhappy with being on the planet they can't wait to get "somewhere else."

Only in this story, without going into what happens too much (spoiler alert), we discover that things aren't what they appear to be.  That this version of reality - might actually be somewhat manufactured.  Which of course leads us to a myriad of other questions - what other details in the storyline are manufactured? Imagined?  And if all of it is a construct, then why this particular construct?  And why the idea that Jason Segal needs to fix anything? If it's a construct to begin with - what's the point of reliving the construct if you already know where the story will conclude?

Here's the good news - they're making films about the Flipside.  This allows people to examine it, talk about it, be part of that journey.  So that's a good thing.

The bad news - they're still trapped in the idea that being on the Flipside - outside your body - is a bad thing.  I'm not saying it's a good thing - I'm just saying "It is what it is."  If you chose to come here to the planet to live this life (as all the research points to that only conclusion) then there's a pretty good reason why you're here - on this stage, on this playing field, in this game.  In this construct, if you will.

Hacking the Afterlife

And the reason to be here is to figure that puzzle out. To realize why you're here, and what you're here to learn, to teach, to explore.

Ain't no pizza on the flipside.  Ain't no cappuccinos either.  Oh, to be sure, there's plenty of fun things to do over there, and quantitatively, people report consistently that it's "better" over there - because they're this feeling of Unconditional Love.

Let's chat about that for a moment.

A majority (roughly 70%) of people who've had near death experiences say that at some point in their journey they experienced "unconditional love."  I've been filming people under deep hypnosis for the past decade, and out of the 35 cases I've filmed, a majority of them say something equivalent.

Further, as I've interviewed people (who are fully conscious) about their experience and journey, when I ask them to "examine" those moments - they can actually feel that experience again.  Feel the feeling of unconditional love.

What the heck is it?

It's not something that we commonly speak of. There are no books about "unconditional love" - no TV shows, no movies, no commercials. "Hey drink this beer and you'll feel unconditional love."  In fact I have no idea of the entomology of the concept - "unconditional love."  It's just what people say about the afterlife.

Consistently.

This guy.  Still loving from the Flipside. Makes an appearance in "Hacking the Afterlife"

That while they were there - during an NDE, during a between life hypnotherapy session - they argue that they had this feeling of "unconditional love."

When I ask them about it - they'll say "It's like nirvana. It's blissful. It's all encompassing. It's beyond words to describe."  

We know what unconditional love is here - it's that love between a parent and child (often) or a person and a pet (often.)  It's love without conditions.

As I'm fond of saying "hard to do when someone runs over your foot. Or pointing a gun in your face. Or claiming they're going to build a wall."  We tend to love "conditionally" while on the planet. If you love me, I'll love you.  Or... I love the way you love me, I wish I could love you that much. Or... I love you so much I don't know myself - but when you reject me, I can't stand the thought of you.

Conditional Love.

Then we have this unusual description of "what or who God is" in the book "It's a Wonderful Afterlife."  "God is beyond the capacity of the human brain to comprehend, it's just not physically possible. However, you can experience God by opening your heart to everyone and to all things."

That's a pretty good description of what unconditional love is.

Open your heart to everyone and all things.

Easy to say, hard to do.

But if we can conceive of it - we can understand it. And if we can experience it, then we can know it.  So you want to know what God is?  Just open your heart to everyone and all things.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

But while I'm waiting, back to the film.

Yes, the flipside is a place of unconditional love. No, you shouldn't be in a hurry to get there. Why?

Because you chose to be here. You came for a reason. You may even have come "under a contract" - meaning you agreed to come and experience things and learn things and teach things that are hard for you to experience, learn or teach while you're here - and seem impossible to do - but you promised your loved ones, your spirit guides, your soul group that you would accomplish these things. You promised you would.

If you break your promise - there's no hell waiting for you. No punishment, other than disappointment - from yourself mostly, for setting out to accomplish something and screwing it up.  But no one is going to spank you, put you through the spanking machine (as we used to have in "kick the can") - but you will be disappointed because you screwed up everyone else's play, you screwed up everyone else's game, out of selfish reasons. "I couldn't take it anymore. I know I signed up for this life, but I just couldn't hack it. It was too hard."

Okay. No one is going to punish you. But think of all the work it took to get you to that sentence - think about having to do it all over again. Just to learn the same damn lesson.  Kind of annoying to think about isn't it?

So stick around.

When science proves there is an afterlife (and I've had it proven to me dozens of times, and I write about it in my books, and I can't change anyone else's mind - because everyone has their own path and journey and if it's not in the cards for you to change your mind about life and death this time around - hey, that's allowed, it's okay) I don't think everyone is going to sign up to get off the planet.

 But for those of you who are looking to see into a deeper reality, see beyond the limitations put upon us by society, see what the science really says (and I mean science in terms of consistent results that are replicable under any circumstances) - then it's okay to go down this path with me.

But - now the question is - how do we experience "unconditional love" while we're here on the planet?  What is that?

Well, get a pet is a start.  You can experience it while you stare into your pet's eyes.  Or have a child. Hold that baby in your arms and look into its eyes and ask yourself "why have you come into my life?"  You'll hear an answer - you may dismiss it, but you'll hear it.  Then practice unconditional love when you're out in the world - someone got your order wrong, screwed up your plans - smile at them. Say "It's ok, I understand. No worries" when you're really saying "I love you unconditionally. There's nothing that you can do wrong or that would screw up my appreciation of being on the planet.  I'm here. You're here. We both get to experience this together."

As one famous film director said to me recently - from the flipside, he's been off the planet for awhile now, and he showed up while I was interviewing Jennifer Shaffer - with a message for his widow which I passed along - he said "No one comes over to this side wishing that they had "held back" more during their lifetime."

Think about that for a second.  "No one on the Flipside wishes they held back more."  How cool is that????

That applies to all of us. Don't hold back. You're having a hard time? Don't hold back. You're feeling judgmental? Let it go. Don't hold back. Someone is making it hard to love them unconditionally? Don't hold back.  Let it go.  Let it be.  Let it surround you.  If you can't love unconditionally, then live unconditionally.

My two cents for the day.

POST SCRIPT:

I mention this in my books, I usually mention it - if you're having suicide ideation, you need to seek out some experts in this field.  It turns out that a side effect of SSRI drugs is suicide ideation - and it's also why doctors prescribe SSRI drugs.  I would ask anyone who is depressed to seek professional help - as the brain can trick us into wanting to check out.  

Trick us?

I say that because the monumental study done by Richard Davidson at the University of Wisconsin shows that "Meditation can cure or alleviate the symptoms of depression."

CURES DEPRESSION.

How does that work? Well, I attended a lecture he gave at UCLA. He showed that the study proves that meditation can "cure or alleviate depression." Because meditation affects the amydala - which is the regulator of serotonin.  Why is this important?

Because people who have amygdalas that aren't working - have misfiring serotonin.  We find misfiring serotonin in people who are having trouble sleeping, people who are depressed, upset, or some other brain function that is awry.  And meditation helps the amygdala - in fact "one session of meditation can change the shape of the amygdala."  This isn't opinion - it's in the study. Scientific fact.

I asked Richard what form of meditation he was using in the study. He said "Tonglen, but a non specific version."  Meaning instead of the typical Tonglen session where a person imagines curing or helping another person using only their mind - they would imagine the planet Earth was in need of being cured instead of one person.

Why is this important? Tonglen is a meditation that allows the meditator to try and "cure" or "help alleviate" pain in someone else. And it turns out - the amazing fact is - that it cures or alleviates depression in the meditator.

Do the meditation, do it every day, like doing pushups, and the depression, the ideation of harming yourself will GO AWAY. Without drugs.  There's no side effects.  If you have depression, or symptoms of depression - seek out someone who can help you find the best meditation expert near you.  See your doctor - indeed - but make sure your doctor has seen the statistics that show up to 15% of the people who use SSRI drugs have ideations of suicide (this state comes from a friend who is a doctor) - and make sure your doctor has seen the evidence that shows that meditation can "cure or alleviate the symptoms of depression."

I can promise he or she is not aware of it - unless they were at the lecture that Davidson gave. And there were easily 500 people in the room, many who identified themselves as psychiatrists "trying to learn a way to wean their clients off Prozac" or to "find an alternative to prescribing SSRI drugs to their teenaged patients."

Okay?  Seek a doctor, but make sure the doctor knows about the research that you've already done into the condition.

The Dalai Lama and his pal Richard Davidson, University of Wisconsin

Flipside and "The Discovery" at Sundance

"How's life with the dead?"

That was a greeting I got this morning.

"Oh, life with the dead is fine, if you mean my daily routine of chasing my tail."

Sundance has a film starring Robert Redford, directed by Charlie McDowell (co-written by Charlie and Justin Lader) that deals with the Flipside.





I haven't seen the film, "The Discovery" and I look forward to seeing it.  From the trailer and online reports, it appears this is a story about a scientist who discovers there is an afterlife.  Mayhem ensues.

From CNET.com: "The Discovery" (Netflix original movie) is set one year after science proves that there is indeed an afterlife. As a result, millions of people around the world commit suicide in order to cross over. The movie follows the scientist who confirmed the afterlife (Redford), his son Will (Jason Segel) and Isla (Rooney Mara), the woman Will falls in love with who has a tragic past."

Charlie's mom is Mary Steenburgen and his dad is Malcolm McDowell.  Mary starred in a film "Going South" with my pal Luana Anders (who as fans of the Flipside books know, is the genesis of my journey into the afterlife - she came back to visit me a number of times after her passing, and since then I've found a way to visit her on the Flipside.  (I'm not kidding. Just read "Flipside")

I met Charlie's father Malcolm McDowell some years ago. My wife and I were invited to dinner with Julian Cerruti and his mom Chantal and Malcolm.  Malcolm was a longtime friend of Julian's dad Nino (the clothing designer, one of the few people I've met on the planet where I felt like I'd known him forever and appears briefly in my film "Cannes Man").  

 For me the dinner was a delight because I've been a fan of Malcolm's work since "If" and "O Lucky Man."  (If you haven't seen the latter, I highly recommend it.)

Younger days. Charlie's pop.

Of course I loved him in "Clockwork Orange" but I wanted to know about "O Lucky Man" - a film I saw in college and wrote a paper about, having interviewed the composer Alan Price backstage in Boston.  The film (edited badly for the US release) was an epic journey in a Voltaire's "Candide" like fashion, where Malcolm plays a man who goes through hell and back to find himself. The extended version is brilliant the music even more so.

Malcolm told me some great stories about the film - for example, I wanted to know why Lindsay Anderson decided to use the same actors for different parts.  It was such a clever choice, almost like seeing reincarnated friends again - and the subtle way in which Malcolm's character in the film did a double take when seeing the same actor (who perhaps died in the previous reel, but was now playing a man servant) again in the story. He said it was just one more example of Anderson's genius (and cost cutting!)

I get a lot of great stories just by asking.

He told me that when he was acting in A Clockwork Orange, he was having a hard time because Kubrick, notorious for multiple takes, wasn't giving him any direction at all.  So Malcolm called Anderson, director of his previous film "If" for advice.  And as he put it "Lindsay directed my performance in Clockwork over the telephone." Funny.

So his son Charlie has co-written and directed this Redford film - where he plays a doctor who is experimenting with "time travel" in the sense that we don't die, we continue on.  But once "the afterlife" is proven to exist, it appears everyone is in a big hurry to get there.

Which brings me back to the "how's life with the dead?" comment.

The flipside isn't this foggy.

Just a word or two about suicide.

First of all, I'm a reporter here, not a doctor. So if someone asks "where'd you hear that?" it's from some rube (me) who claims that he "talks to people who talk to the dead" all the time.  Someone who claims that he's seen people who are supposed to be dead and they tell him "new information." (which I report in my books). Someone who claims that the afterlife is just this place that we call "home" and that when we get off stage we return there.

I had an NYPD detective pull me aside on the set of "Salt" to ask me about a ghost in his house and his daughter talking about reincarnation. I said to him "Look, first of all, you're talking to some guy on a movie set. Let's begin there." 

But then, after asking some questions, we discovered the ghost was his old partner who died 10 years ago, showing up to his 8 year old daughter "younger and thinner" and that she was remembering a lifetime in Australia.  I suggested his partner was not haunting him, but keeping a watchful eye on someone he loved, and that he take out a map of Oz and ask his daughter "So, where did you live before?" He did, and she showed him, told him the epic story of her previous life and death... and finding him.

But I digress.

These details are not my "belief," a philosophy or a point of view. Or a religious concept.  

I'm just a frickin' reporter, man.

But the topic of checking yourself off the bus comes up a lot.  I've met parents whose children have departed early, I've spoken to people who consciously remember checking themselves off the planet in a previous lifetime, I've filmed people who remember a lifetime they left early during a previous lifetime. 

I spoke to a woman (recounted in "Flipside") who told me that she was on her way to do herself in, was literally standing in line at the hardware store with the chemicals she needed - when she overheard some boys from Uganda talking about their journey. Once she spoke to them she realized she was here on the planet to help them.  She now runs an orphanage for "lost boys" in Uganda.

She waited before she checked out.

Not all of us do that. Not all of us can.  It would be extremely irresponsible of me to claim that I know some magic formula for keeping people on the planet.  I don't.  But I do know what people say consistently.

This is the playground. This is the ballpark. This is the game that we all want to participate in. We sign up for roles that are difficult - in advance - because we know they're difficult. We sign up for them to learn a lesson. It might be a lesson in love, in forgiveness, it might be a lesson to teach others - it might even be because "we're in a hurry to get back to the other side because we have work to do over there that requires our full attention."  (I know what that sounds like.) But we sign up to come here for a reason.

What people report about the afterlife (I've filmed 35 deep hypnosis sessions, some with Scott De Tamble (lightbetweenlives.com) and some with others, I've examined Michael Newton's research (7000 cases over 30 years) and Dr. Helen Wambach's cases (2000) and people consistently say the same things (relatively): we choose to come here. We choose to learn or teach some lesson here. We eventually all get off stage and go "home." And there's no judgment negatively of how we get off stage. We are the only people who give ourselves a hard time for "quitting early" or for "screwing up everyone else's plans."

No punishment. No suffering. Just compassion. Some people don't want to hear that, don't like to hear that... but it's consistently reported. Now - would that fact make everyone jump into Niagara Falls? Or off the Golden Gate?

It's a bit like stopping in the middle of a play and shouting "I don't like this play!" and jumping off stage.  Not going to get much applause for that move. And when you get backstage, the rest of your cast is going to come and say to you "We're all going to have to do this again for you.  Thanks a lot."

(Here's the audible version of "Hacking the Afterlife")

But this film  "The Discovery" should engender a discussion about suicide and the afterlife. And I'm raising my hand to say a few things to Charlie, to Robert, to whomever wants to know... that there is a body of evidence out there about this topic.  If I may:

A. The afterlife has already been proven to exist. Look up "post materialist science" and you'll find the scientists on the cutting edge of this research.  We don't die.  We can't die. Suicide doesn't get us anywhere but off this stage.

B. That's no solace for parents who've lost a child, for a lover who's lost a friend. For anyone anywhere who has lost someone to suicide;  it's like a giant tsunami of sorrow that washes away everything in its path. It's not something we can take lightly.  But it is something we need to talk about. Openly.

C. This research into the afterlife shows us why we came here in the first place. We've had many many lifetimes. They all have a theme. If you examine the previous ones you may get to understand the theme, and understand why you've chosen this path and journey.

D. It takes courage to come here in the first place. According to the research, we can say "no" when our guides suggest a lifetime that is difficult.  We can say "No, I don't want to be a child born into poverty in africa, born HIV positive who lives with flies and dies in 6 months."  But there are those who say "I volunteer. Yes. I can teach a lesson in love. I can teach the doctors and nurses and those who fall in love with me a lesson in love. I can do this." Give them credit for having the courage to do so.

 I talk about this stuff in my books, or I go on at length about it in my book talks on youtube (I do mean at length - there's about 25 - 1 hour to 2 hour talks here): 




Which backs me all the way up to the woman who asked me "What's new in the world of the dead?"  She said "What's the point of all this past life research? I don't care who I was in the past, I just want to live my life as it is."  ("Don't turn on the stage lights please!")

I said "That's great.  But the reason it matters is because when you examine all the different lifetimes you've had, you'll see a theme - a healer, a doctor, a soldier, etc.. and you can choose to continue doing that, or realize that you might want to take on some other classes." Karma doesn't dictate who we are going to be - if we get to choose (or not choose) a lifetime it's because we think we're going to master whatever the lessons are from that life.

Past life/reincarnation research is important because once we realize that we've all chosen to come to the planet, doesn't it make sense to leave behind a clean campground, not only for our children, but for our own possible return? Leave behind fresh air, water and earth that we might enjoy it again?

She argued "But what about Hell? What about evil on the planet?"

I offered "If no one dies, then no one can be harmed, can they?  If they step off stage, they're backstage - there's no harm that can come to them over there.  Evil is a construct of the planet - because of it's polarized system, positive/negative. It only exists onstage. Once you're outside of time, or outside of this realm, it's doesn't exist, or it does so in relatively minute amounts. That's what's reported."

She said "What about those who have a near death experience and see evil?"  I said "In sessions I've filmed, when asked "Why did you choose to experience this?" these folks report that it disappears once they realize that they've chosen to go to wherever place they're experiencing. How could it dissolve unless it was a mental construct in the first place?"  

Plus no two accounts of heaven (or hell) are the same. If no two descriptions are the same, can it exist? It can only be an energetic construct based on the person conjuring it up. And in all the cases I've examined, I've never encountered a "dark side" - only descriptions of "being back home" that include the concept of "Unconditional love."

She gave me this 20 mile gaze, looking at me as if I was losing my marbles.

22 mile gaze.

I told her about the interview I did in "It's a Wonderful Afterlife" (vol 2) where I spoke to an attorney who claimed all of her clients who had committed 2nd degree murder had a visitation, "vision" or some other kind of visit from their victims where they heard a version of "I'm okay. And I can help you."  

It's not something anyone could ever talk about obviously - ("Hey judge, you'll never guess who visited me...") but it's related to the fact that everyone, once they're off the planet, no matter in what fashion - is okay. 

They're not gone. They're just not here.

I think it's sad to not be able to hold their hand, share a slice of pizza or have cappuccinos with them, but they're okay. 

If you ask them, they will tell you.

I had a woman approach me at a book talk once. Her daughter had been murdered. She put her finger in my face and said "How dare you say that my daughter's death somehow might have been part of her life's plan!"  I looked at the finger, then at her.  I sat her down.

"Can I speak frankly to you?" She said "I wish you would."  I asked "Since her death has she ever been to visit you, or have you felt her presence?" She said "All the time."  I asked "Was she a happy person?" She said "Yes." I said "Then pretend it is her. Imagine for a second that she's come back to see you and wants to give you a message. Imagine how hard it is for her to connect with you because you're so angry about her passing. Would she want you live your life in such anger?"

A sunset is a sunrise somewhere else.

She said "No."  I said "Well try to honor that then. Try to honor who she was by thinking of her in a positive light, remembering her laughter and what a light she was in your life.  Then allow her to communicate with you the best way that she knows how - it might not be a direct message, but it might be an indirect one. Might come from someone else, might come from a dream, a photograph you run across, a piece of music you both loved. Allow her into your life in the way that she would be able to reach out to you." 

A month later, I was giving a book talk in Santa Monica and spotted her in the back row.  Afterwards I went and sat with her. "How are you?" She said "I just wanted to come here, look you in the eye and say "Thank you for saving my life."

Tears came to my eyes. I said to her "Look, it's not me. It's the research. I'm just reporting what these people have said consistently. But thank you for saying that, it means a lot to me."

A couple of months later, I heard from this woman that she had progressed so far as to begin taking a stand-up comedy class. She'd found a way out of her anger and into something that could heal her and others. I hope she's doing well as I write this. 

No parent should have to lose a child. Therapy, suicide prevention, showing them a different way, talking openly and frankly about bullying, drugs, or any other process they might get in over their heads can help. Seek advice from a therapist. (avoid the SSRI pills if you can, but if the Doctor insists, then visit Richard Davidson's work at the University of Wisconsin where he proves scientifically that meditation can cure symptoms of depression (and circumvent SSRI drug use)).

But we can't always discern or understand why a loved one has left the stage... in whatever fashion. Try not to judge them for doing so, just keep your heart open to them.

Many judged Robin Williams harshly because he chose to check himself off the bus. But he's okay. He's just not here. People chose to judge Prince harshly for taking pain killers. But he's okay. He's just not here. People tend to focus on the method people get off stage - but if you realize that they're just back stage and you will see them again - why not focus on the light they brought into our lives?

All we can do is ask them. Through meditation, through hypnosis, perhaps through just opening our minds up to the question "Why?"  Hard to comprehend or accept the answers, but if we stay open to them, we often can hear the reason.

After this mother's comments, it made me reflect on my own path and journey - writing and directing films, trying to find the right path for myself. I realized no matter how many films I might make, I would never get a review like "Thank you for saving my life."  

Finally, I would offer kudos for this film "The Discovery" because the more we're talking about the flipside, about going there or coming back, the more it will help the planet.  Congratulations Netflix, (makers of another consciousness lifting show "The OA" which deals with near death experiences), Robert Redford, and Charlie McDowell (and co-writer Justin Lader)!

Break a leg. But not mine.

My two cents. Or in this case my two rupees.