Two new Flipside events in January

Glad to see the earth has survived the dawn of the "new era."  More fun to come!

Here's some pix from the shell sculpture in the Palisades in Santa Monica. Once a year it becomes our "Stonehenge" and on the solstice the sun lines up with the crevice in the shell. Quite stunning. Here's a pic:

Winter Solstice 2012 Santa Monica Palisades

A thought about this "new millenia" or "the shift." Recently I filmed a deep hypnosis session with a skeptic who found herself in a place where she was speaking with her spirit guide or guardian. She asked him what "the shift" was about, the new age concept that there is a shift in consciousness upon us. The guide said "You humans always feel the need to name things so you can get a handle on them. Here, we refer to it as "the quickening." 
In terms of the cosmos, it isn't that big of a deal. 
However, if you want to understand it, imagine yourself a crab walking on the ocean floor and suddenly you open your eyes and realize... you're in an ocean. 
That's a shift in consciousness." 

Welcome to the Ocean my fellow Paralithodes camtschaticus - are we Kings or Hermits or Horseshoes?

What.. me worry?
Mine. All mine. Oh, Ok, you can have some.
You decide.

Two new "Flipside" events. 

One in Santa Monica, Friday Jan 25th at 7 pm. 
Book signing and talk at First Pres Church, 1220 2nd street, 90401.

Probably in the Renaissance room.  I love this church, love the people here, many friends, so this should be a lot of fun.

The other is in Fullerton,

The Owl's Lantern, 801 S Euclid, 92832 Jan 26th at 7 pm. 

Donations welcome, not required. Books and dvds (of the 90 minute doc "Flipside: a Journey into the Afterlife" are for sale. C'mon down to have your reality altered (in a good way).

And Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to you all!!!!


The events in Newton, Connecticut

I've been doing research on what people say under deep hypnosis about the afterlife - and the between lives realm.  It's based on the extensive work of Michael Newton, who gave his lifetime to this research.  Over 7000 people have said basically the same things about the process, about the journey, about what and how and why we show up on the planet.

I started filming people under deep hypnosis that I chose - people I knew who were skeptical, or who had never heard of Michael Newton.  They all had the same results.  I've published that in my book "Flipside: A Tourist's Guide on How to Navigate the Afterlife" and in my documentary "Flipside: a Journey into the Afterlife."

When tragedy strikes, as it did in Newton this past week, it's difficult to try to put anything into perspective.  We are all suffering as a result of this tragedy.  My children have a teacher who knew the principal - so I have the extra benefit of hearing about how wonderful and bright and captivating she was.  I have also wept at the stories of individual courage and fearlessness... but I wanted to say a few words of solace.

Sandy Hook Principal Dawn Hochsprung
I ran across this message on the internet this morning, it comes from "Matthew's Messages" - Matthew is a young man who passed away a few years ago, but has been able to keep in touch with his mom.

He weighs in on the tragedy, and all I can say is that it's pretty much what people say from the spirit realm about why tragedies occur.  I might add that whether one believes that Matthew is talking to his mom is beside the point - what he says (or what her subconscious is saying) is identical to what thousands under deep hypnosis have said about why tragedies occur.  Here's an excerpt from her blog "Matthew's Messages"

"Their soul level agreement to participate in their respective roles was for the higher good of all humankind, and the participants who are in Nirvana (Note: "between lives realm") are rejoicing about the agreement’s success. The massacre’s profound message, now ingrained in the collective consciousness, is that the human heart and mind no longer can be inured to killing, killing, killing, no longer is humankind willing to endure it! The shock and grief in Newtown, Connecticut, shook the world and unified people in an outpouring of prayer for everyone affected by the tragedy. 

For many years the abhorrence of similar inexplicable acts of violence has been registering with increasing strength in the collective consciousness. A powerful occurrence—the shooting of those youngsters in school—was needed to solidify the collective desire into the intention to end senseless killings everywhere. And the intensity of high vibrations that are affecting everyone in your world is expanding that intention to include all preventable deaths—international wars, genocide, “legal” execution, and starvation and disease in the impoverished populace."

There are some predictions of future events, and an ultimate reason for why and how - I add a note of caution that no particular individual can predict the future, even our spirit guides, as after all, they aren't all knowing or infallible. However when they communicate with us, it's from a place of higher knowledge - people have free will and can screw up the future at any time. But in terms of the "why" of some events occur, it's quite similar to my research.

It's not that "Karma" is involved - "The law of karma" as its been translated (sanskrit: action) doesn't seem to apply to the research that Michael Newton has done regarding between lives. It's been translated as reincarnation is dictated by past actions, and free will has nothing to do with who and what we are. If you read Michael Newton's research, his accounts of what thousands say under deep hypnosis about the afterlife, we find there are a myriad of reasons for why someone might choose a difficult lifetime - and those reasons are thought out in advance. So there is free will involved - people choose lifetimes to examine a myriad of issues, many that are extremely difficult to conceptualize or examine from a learning perspective. But that's what the research shows. We don't suffer as a result of something we did in a past life - rather out of compassion, love, caring - we choose difficult lives to help other people.

Again - I think we all have to translate whatever messages come from spirit into our own consciousness - but in essence, he's saying that the event was planned so that others can benefit from their sacrifice. That gun laws will be passed, that mental illness issues will be addressed, and that many more lives will be saved as a result of this selfless act.

In terms of the gun laws issue: it's about gun safety, not control.  We have a myriad of laws that protect us in the workplace, at home, we need to craft laws that prevents certain kinds of weapons from coming into the marketplace (as they did with plastic guns) and we need to examine how people can obtain permits for what kinds of weapons. We need to address these issues whether or not the gun makers want us to.

In terms of mental illness, nearly all of these incidents from Columbine to Aurora include an SSRI drug element.  These drugs are being used, prescribed, to medicate depression, mental illness - and the end result (according to a Doctor I know, 15% of the population can't tolerate them because of an enzyme issue, and there's a simple test to measure for that enzyme) - is suicide or mass shooting, or some other psychic break.  it's not just video games and culture of violence - we have kids whose brains have been altered by these drugs, and as a result they can't help but commit these acts of violence.  (The film director Tony Scott was taking an SSRI drug when he suddenly decided to kill himself.)  We have to address this issues whether or not the drug makers want us to.

Here's testimony given before Congress by a victim of Columbine in 2004:

Mark Taylor and his book re: Columbine

Mark Taylor'stestimony before the FDA 9/13/2004

"I am Mark Allen Taylor and I am a victim of the SSRI antidepressant era. I took six to thirteen bullets in the heart area in the Columbine High School shooting when Eric Harris on Luvox opened fire that now infamous day. They almost had to amputate my leg and my arm. My heart missed by only one millimeter. I had three surgeries. Five years later I am still recuperating. I went through all this to realize that SSRI antidepressants are dangerous for those who take them and for all those who associate with those who take them.

I hope that my testimony today shows you that you need to take action immediately before more innocent people like me, and you, do not get hurt or die horrible deaths as a result. As Americans we should have the right to feel safe and if you were doing your job we would be safe. Why are we worrying about terrorists in other countries when the pharmaceutical companies have proven to be our biggest terrorists by releasing these drugs on an unsuspecting public?

How are we suppose to feel safe at school, at home, on the street, at church or anywhere else if we cannot trust the FDA to do what we are paying you to do? Where were you when I and all of my classmates got shot at Columbine?

You say that antidepressants are effective. So why did they not help Eric Harris before he shot me?
According to Eric they "helped" him to feel homicidal and suicidal after only six weeks on Zoloft. And then he said that dropping off Luvox cold turkey would help him "fuel the rage" he needed to shoot everyone. But he continued on Luvox and shot us all anyway. So, why did these so called antidepressants not make him better? I will tell you why. It is because they do not work.We should consider antidepressants to be accomplices to murder."

For a graphic display of how invovled these drugs are, here's a LIST OF SSRI RELATED SHOOTINGS.

Then there's the story of the mom who is dealing with trauma from her son's illness:

Liza Long's Blog

In the story she speaks of how they gave her son SSRI drugs and sent him home.  It's a viscious cycle - we are poisoning our children (with chemicals in our food, in our furniture, in our plastics, who knows what else?), then when they're ill from what we've given them, we give them drugs, and when they act out we give them more drugs.

Richard Davidson's breakthrough research
There are solutions: check into the research or Richard Davidson at the University of Wisconsin where he's shown that practicing the ancient Tibetan meditation of "Tonglen" can alleviate or end depression.  That "one session alone" can actually change the shape of the amygdala in the subject.  (the locus for depression in the brain).  I attended a lecture he gave at UCLA and the room was filled with psychiatrists trying to find a way to get kids off of SSRI drugs.

Study of depression and meditation

Proof that Tonglen can help alleviate depression

I mention this because there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Just as Matthew said above - there is a reason for these events happening, and it's to help save others from the same fate.  Whether you believe that or not is moot - we have come to a crossroads in our civilization on this planet - and we can choose to move forward to help the rest of humanity, based on their sacrifice.

 No question that this act has brought trauma, heart ache, sadness and horror - but as a selfless act that is a sacrifice to all of humanity - even just to conceive that might be the case - is to really see that we are all connected, all part of source, and that in order to stop senseless killing and violence we have to come together and consider the common good. At the very least we need to honor their sacrifice through action that helps humanity. At least that's my two cents on it.


Flipside now through PDP publishing and other outlets


 Premier Digital Publishing has taken over the sale of "Flipside: a Tourist's Guide on How to Navigate the Afterlife" - here are some links to find the book... same price, just a few more copies in the earthly realm....

FlipSide: A Tourists Guide On How To Navigate The Afterlife – Coming Soon

What happens after we die? Author and award winning filmmaker Richard Martini explores startling new evidence for life after death, via the “life between lives,” where we reportedly return to find our loved ones, soul mates and spiritual teachers.  Based on the evidence of thousands of people who claim that under deep hypnosis, they saw and experienced the same basic things about the Afterlife, the book interviews hypnotherapists around the world trained in the method pioneered by Dr. Michael Newton, as well as examining actual between life sessions.  The author agrees to go on the same journey himself, with startling and candid results, learning we are fully conscious between our various incarnations, and return to connect with loved ones and spiritual soul mates, and together choose how and when and with whom we’ll reincarnate. The author examines how  “Karmic law” is trumped by “Free will,” with souls choosing difficult lives in order to learn from their spiritually; no matter how difficult, strange or complex a life choice appears to be, it was made in advance, consciously, with the help of loved ones, soul mates and wise elders. Extensively researched, breathtaking in scope, “Flipside” takes the reader into new territory, boldly going where no author has gone before to tie up the various disciplines of past life regression. near death experiences, and between life exploration.
In the words of author Gary Schwartz, PhD, once you’ve read “Flipside”, “you’ll never see the world in the same way again.”


Flipside: Talks in Virginia Beach and Orange County IANDSA

Here's the Orange County IANDS talk - careful, my hands have seem to be telling a tale of their own. I dedicated this talk to the Near Death Studies group in Orange County to my cousin Matt who passed away last week - and his first word on the planet was "Sunset."

I was invited to speak about "Flipside" in Virginia Beach this summer.  Here are the two clips from the event.  One is at the Edgar Cayce Center A.R.E. in Virginia Beach, speaking to the IANDS (International Association of Near Death Studies) group in Virginia Beach and the other is at the Fellowship of the Light Church in Virginia Beach the next day.

A couple of errata: I mention that I was asked by Charles Grodin to produce his show in NYC; he asked me to come and produce comic segments for the show, not the show itself.  The other is that when I refer to myself in Angelina Jolie's trailer while working on the movie "Salt" it's a metaphor; I was only in her trailer once to take notes for her and the Director of the film, when I refer to it here, it's to describe the variety of work someone does on a film.

That being said one is 90 minutes long with 30 minutes of questions, the other is 30 minutes long and I'm addressing people who had all come to the church to share their prayers and intentions for the health and well being of loved ones - and hence why I shared the "Tonglen" Meditation. This meditation can be found online, it was used by Richard Davidson at the University of Wisconsin in studies that showed that this form of meditation can help with depression.  Here they are:

And here is the half hour in the Fellowship Church the following day:


Speaking of Flipside

I've been invited to speak on Sat. Dec 8th to the Orange County chapter of IANDS - the Near Death Study group.

The details are here:

Spent a couple of days with Gary E Schwartz Ph.D.

Gary has written numerous books on spirituality from a science point of view - he got a Ph.D at Harvard, and then another one at Yale - ran one of their medical programs, and was the youngest tenured professor in Yale history.  He's now in Arizona where he's been researching, studying and mastering the science that revolves around psychics, mediums etc.

He has a fascinating lab, a fascinating journey to the lab, and a fascinating mind all wrapped in one.

Together we're working on a project that as he puts it, "If it turns out to be true, and we are able to use science to prove it, we will be making history."

A noble endeavor indeed.

For all of you folks who've watched my clips on youtube, or have read the book, or have watched the documentary, thanks for tuning in, thanks for finding me on Facebook, thanks for the wonderful emails and stories of your lives.  I'm just a reporter in this research, and I continue to film and question and document what people say about the afterlife - either under deep hypnosis, or through dreams, visions or near death experiences.  Somehow it all makes sense to me, and I'm doing my best to impart that to the rest of the planet. I hold no special place in the pantheon of those who've researched and written and experimented - again, I'm just a reporter who happens to own a camera.

Thanks for checking in, and hope to see you in Tustin!


Guest Speaker Richard Martini, Filmmaker of Afterlife Documentary



Do you have questions about an afterlife?
Do we really plan and choose the people and circumstances for our next life?
When does the soul enter our body?

Richard Martini, author and award winning filmmaker, will talk about his most recent book and documentary of the same name, “Flipside: A Journey Into the Afterlife.”  They’re based on new evidence for life after death, via the “life between lives,” where we reportedly return to find our loved ones, soul mates and spiritual teachers, that life choices appear to be made in advance, and why souls choose difficult lives.

Saturday, December 8, 2012
1:00pm – 4:00 pm

$10 donation encouraged, but no one is turned away.


"Return to the Earth" - it's a command (and a cookbook!)

Amy C’s Near-Death Experience

Amy C’s Near-Death Experience

Aug 17
Near-Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF)
Original Link
Since I was 17, I’d had chronic pain, doctors had labeled as fibromyalgia. It was a torturous existence, and sleep was difficult to come by. By the time of the experience and even long before, I was sleeping just fifteen minutes at a time, and then I’d have to move and stretch in bed, as it was too painful to hold still for long. So, I was constantly tired. My doctor had an idea for a medication that wasn’t typically used for sleep, but might have the side-effect of numbing me. I noticed that whenever I took it, even in the tiniest amounts, my nose would swell and my breathing became too shallow. It was scary and uncomfortable, but the relief from pain came, so the temptation to take it was great. I informed the doctor that I believed I was having an allergic reaction to the medication and he chuckled and said that my body simply needed to “get used to the med” and that the amount I was taking was so low, it couldn’t possibly do anything. He asked me to take three whole pills. I had been taking one half of a half. One night, after a week of agonizing pain and no sleep, I considered the doctor’s prescription of three whole pills and decided to take them all and trust him.

I went to bed after taking all three and within minutes felt myself begin to go numb. Then the inside of my nasal passages swelled up and I couldn’t breathe at all. I couldn’t even open my mouth I was struggling to get air, but could not. My entire body felt like it was mummified. I couldn’t call out for help, and it only took a couple of minutes before, the struggle was over.

There was a strong suction coming from the top of my head (like a vacuum) and an absolute sense of relief. There was no longer a need to breathe, and no feeling of being drugged on a medication. I had no sense of my own body. I’ve forgotten much of this next part, but it seems I travelled very quickly. This is a void area for me.

The next thing I remember is pulling through some kind of a portal along with many others. It felt like I was in a waiting room. There were many others coming through and I began to watch them move in. I watched a group of about three teenage boys come through who had an energy and way about them that was very obnoxious. They were big and seemed stupid and even a little threatening. As I was looking at them, it came to me that they had died in a car accident where they had all been drunk. Another woman came through who looked to be in her fifties or so. She was quite the chatterbox and was talking on and on. I listened to her for a minute and she told me how proud she was of her “sexy body” and how well she had taken care of herself in her life. How “good” she’d “looked.” She proceeded to try and show me her body. I noticed that she had a fake color of skin, like she’d either been going to tanning booths or laying out under the sun for way too long. Her hair looked to be a fake color of blonde and even her breasts looked like she’d had implants, which I seemed to just know without having to ask. It came to me that she’d died of skin cancer. She seemed to want to talk about herself a lot and I became bored and moved on. A lot of others came through. This room or area did not feel very bright to me, and despite the fact that I was receiving somehow, information that these people were dead, I hadn’t accepted that, because everything felt so real and natural. So seemingly, alive. Nothing felt shocking or strange. I was simply very curious about what it was all about.

There was a young woman who came up to me. She had beautiful, almost greenish eyes, and the most lovely shade of red hair. She began to tell me about herself. She told me that she had died with the feeling that was similar to drowning.. slowly blacking out with no way to breathe. And yet, I wasn’t sure if she actually had drowned. While she told me of her death telepathically, I actually experienced at a certain level, what she felt. I was able to physically parallel her own memory. She started to give me orders, “Tell them this…. etc.” “Tell them that, etc..” She was giving me personal information about herself. I had no idea why. But I politely listened. One thing she said was that she wanted me to “Tell them that I loved to sing.” She gave a quick/impromptu singing performance for those immediately around us, and I thought her voice was beautiful. I was also awed by how she was free during her performance to actually elevate herself and move through the space around her without touching the ground. It was like watching an underwater dance without the water. I don’t know why I wasn’t more shocked, or why I accepted this so well. I also noticed how at a certain part of her song, her beautiful red hair seemed to grow LONGER! I thought it was interesting that she could choose to have longer hair at will. This young woman (maybe close to age 19 or 20) also told me how she had regretted not “hanging in there.” How it “would have been better to stay” and work out her issues. But she also told me to “Tell them how free I feel now.”

I must stop and make a clear note that every word that I offer on communications from my NDE came without actual verbal words. There were very few technically precise words. What I am relaying is what “came” to me through telepathic communications. I never felt like I was hearing anything auditory at all. People would just look at each other.. and often even with some mouth movements, but the messages would come through so quickly, without any verbal effort, and from the inside, rather than outside of self. So when I quote communications here, I am just offering the closest thing to what was usually being telepathically “spoken,” instantly.

I remember that we had congregated into a much bigger and brighter room or area where there were many, many others present. Everyone was so busy talking and getting to know each other. It felt similar to the scene in a High School cafeteria. People even seemed to want to quickly find others they related to or felt at ease with, and there were even little “groups” that began to form. At a certain interval, I noticed a man move into the room. I sensed something about him. He felt safe and balanced to me. I just knew that I could trust him to tell me what was going on. It STILL had not occurred to me that I might be dead. And I wasn’t sure I’d accepted the fact that these people were deceased, either. So, I moved toward this man (and another note.. moving didn’t really involve walking.. just intent of desire to GO.) and approached him with the question, “Who are you?” He looked at me and I realized he was a kind of teacher or Guide for this group. He explained that he had died in a truck accident. He had been a truck driver by profession. He was a Latino man. He told me that he was not a perfect man, but that he had Mastered Humility. I know that sounds ironic, but when I was with him, I could feel truly, that he hadn’t a shred of self-regard or as we’d say, “pride,” about him. He explained, that he had come to help teach them importance of humility to this group of people, because they had been so self-absorbed in their lives, they hadn’t been able to learn vital lessons and had aborted their own lives. He seemed to be telling me that in one way or another, these people had “Committed Suicide.”

This made me wonder, as I hadn’t noticed anyone in the room who had hung themselves, intentionally overdosed on drugs, shot themselves, or things like that. I was a bit confused by how the term, “Suicide” could come to me with these people. But I came to understand that the casual disregard for life, and the flagrant and selfish risks that one might take, whether involved in drug use, drunk driving, or any kind of action that could essentially lead to one’s own demise is what is considered, “Suicide..” at least where I was. When a human takes their own life in desperation, due to emotional or mental imbalances, or physical agony, or depression so severe, this is very similar to when a very old person gets so tired of “hanging on” that they WILL themselves to go.. simply stop eating and breathing, etc.. This is not punished, so to speak, on the Other Side. It is DIFFERENT. It is just the human, willing themselves out of this life cycle.

The teacher continued to offer more information. He explained how in aborting their own lives, these people would have a rest period, but that learning what they needed to learn would be difficult. I came to understand that as much as they were taught and infused with good and helpful information there, and even if they agreed “wholeheartedly” with what was being taught.. or what they needed to learn, that learning without a body is like learning to get over an addiction to drugs with no opportunity to do the drugs! Or like learning to love one’s own enemy without having enemies to deal with. He explained how he needed to teach this group of people how vital it is to let go of themselves. How to lose their obsession with themselves. How they will be stagnant in all progress if they cannot unchain themselves from their own self-obsessions. He had to teach them the importance of humility. And yet, he shook his head, smiling slightly, and he implied that there was still very little he could help them with, without their bodies. His hope was to instill more of a passion for what he had to teach, strong enough that it would leave a seed of Light that might stay with them through their sojourns.

When this particular teacher was transmitting information to me, as oddly as it sounds, I felt a jolt of sudden horror. I queried, “What are these people?” He came in more clearly, telepathically, “They ARE DECEASED. THEY HAVE DIED.” I asked him point blank, “If these people are dead, what am I?!” I don’t know why it took me so long to grasp the fact of this reality. He explained gently, “They are dead. You are in between. You are as if in a coma. You are not the same.”

With that, I started up, “I have to get out of here, then!” As I moved toward the corner of the room to leave, at least a couple of the drunken, stupid boys suddenly lunged at me with words like, “She’s alive.. touch her!!” It was very creepy. They were actually grabbing at me and trying to yank me back toward them. They even tried to make sexual advances. I was horrified. So, I now believe that some of the dead if not all, still have many earthly or worldly desires.

Looking back at that part of my experience, I was astounded by how earthy.. how even animal-like people can be on the Other Side. One might expect that upon entering through Death’s Door, there would be sudden enlightenment; that maybe everyone would realize absolute goodness and choose Light and a fresh start, possibly becoming more angelic and purified, but in that place, everyone came in exactly as they’d been before.

I’d also wondered at religion while I was there, and I quickly received the sense that this wasn’t important. That one’s religion, no matter which they joined or didn’t join on earth, was always what was written in their own heart. It was about WHO the person was, not what label they wore or who or what they worshiped or believed in. Your own frequency, tone, mathematical equation and vibration says it all, and you can’t tinker with that. You just ARE who you are. I learned that we are here to learn how to Love, Divinely. And to become Masters of ourselves. To nail down our own lower natures and to Raise up within ourselves our own Highest Self. We are all working toward Oneness again.

When I left that initial place, I began to move quickly, and I felt that I was safe and comfortable. I felt enveloped in Love. There was someone tending to me, and I seemed to be at absolute peace with this person. There was so much light coming from this person’s face, I could scarcely see any features in detail, but faintly remember slightly wavy, dark hair. And I believe this Guide was male. But even so, I felt a very maternal sense toward him. It was as if he were like a mother to me. So, I hesitate to label him with a gender. I’m not too concerned with that matter, though. I will refer to this Guide as male though, to make things easier for writing purposes. If I knew his name while with him, then it was taken from me upon return to my body because I no longer remember it. (I wouldn’t be shocked to discover that much memory was pulled from me in regard to personal details of my Guide, because even my faint memories have been proved painful for me and have made me ache to return. I can’t imagine remembering more. It would make being here so much harder.)

We were traveling upward, I suppose. My own vibration was changing. There was a big change in frequency. Like I was tuning into a different radio station on a grand scale. I was out in the Universe, and I was being given a kind of show. Like having an astronomy teacher speak on the beauty of the Universe while laying under the stars at night. But I was out there amidst them. And this part seems to have been made foggy for me since my return, but I remember vaguely that during this scene, I saw something like holographic words and numbers move in front of me past the stars… and it felt like I was being downloaded with information. I felt at that time that I understood EVERYTHING.

That I felt the full truth of Laws and Order in the Universe. One thing that I held onto was the beautiful MATH of the Universe. I remember coming to understand that there was an supreme and perfect kind of MATH that was in and of ALL things that existed. I remember being told something about Einstein! I was so excited. It was such a pleasant experience. I was also shown how there is a kind of clock-work in the sky. How the stars themselves actually hold a sort of map or mathematical Key to everything that is! “You are written in the stars,” I was told! EVERYTHING is! I recall how THRILLING this part of my NDE was for me.

I was also told that this map in the stars.. the keys that are hidden there have been known for a long time, and that these things have been sorely corrupted and turned into things of ill purpose in most cases on our planet.

All of my life, I had felt confusion and dismay at what I believed was “lack of order.” When I saw suffering that I deemed, “unnecessary,” or sadness, …or anything that I couldn’t make sense of, I’d been riddled with a painful impression of “Chaos.” I was flabbergasted that the God I so fervently believed in, and was taught to trust, could do no better than what I beheld in my every day life. It tore at my soul and I prayed daily and sometimes for hours and hours, begging for an answer that could provide some kind of a reckoning.

I’d been taught in my life that we had ONE life to live (I’d never even considered reincarnation), and that some people get to have the most incredible luxury and wonders that anyone could imagine, and others are “tested” because of their “valiant spirits” and have to deal with terrible miseries to “prove their strength”.. while still others.. like small children all over the world, are born to suffer through starvation and disease, rape, mutilation, even years and years of torture, only to die and then “get their just reward.” This didn’t seem like much of a “test” to me. It just seemed insane. I couldn’t make logic of it. When I begged religious leaders for answers, I was told that “sometimes God let’s wicked people torture good people so that He can punish the wicked for their deeds… otherwise, He couldn’t punish them for anything.” The whole system just seemed sick to me. I couldn’t completely respect this notion.

In my NDE though, I came to understand that most of us have lived much, MUCH longer than we could even fathom. That our lives that feel so very long are infinitesimal when placed in the Whole picture… which for that matter, cannot even be framed. I was shown how every single individual through their own free will chooses paths that MATHEMATICALLY take them to the circumstances of their next existence or life. That NOTHING at all sits in accident or chaos. That every single aspect of our lives are ruled by NATURAL Laws that we placed ourSELVES in! That in a sense, we create our own worlds. I was shown how one can never assume either, that if someone lives a life of suffering that this is because of “evil” deeds. Many may CHOOSE a life of suffering because of what it Awakens in them.. or to help another, etc.. We can NEVER EVER assume that we can be accurate in guessing why each Being lives the life they live. I cannot describe the relief… the refreshing, peaceful balm this Knowledge was for me. To finally gather this Truth that I’d yearned for all of my life… That all IS Good! That there IS sense and beauty all around. That no one is just “free-falling” as it had seemed before! That God doesn’t just get to toy with us as He pleases with random ideas of tests, including rewards and punishments that just depend upon His current mood or mindset. While in this experience, out in the vast expanse of stars and planets, moons, and Knowledge, I Knew complete Trust for what felt like the first time. This was bliss for me. I had lived in fear and distrust and panic for 30 consecutive years.

I want to add that in my life, I have always had a mental block when it came to math. Even the simplest math ideas, starting from the time I was only six years old were difficult for me to approach. I would shut down when anything with numbers was presented to me. So, in my NDE, while being shown such an enormous array of gorgeous mathematical equations and facts… and visual numerical splendor, I was overjoyed at my own ability to thoroughly comprehend all of it. Unfortunately, at my return, I was discouraged to find that I could not relay or bring with me the expansive amount of math understanding and knowledge I’d been so anxious to share with others. I was and still am, in love with numbers. That was a big leap forward!

I was also brought before what appeared to be a living picture of our planet. While I was looking at it, I saw a word above it. I believe it was something like, “Novate” or “Novata” or “Novato.” One of those three. Then the whole planet seemed to open up, like an eyelid that slowly awakens to dawn. It looked to be one eye opening up. There was a lovely, soft woman’s voice who spoke the days of the week in a different language, and then said, “Prepare for the Seventh Day.” At this, I saw the curious visual of a piano.

The next thing I remember is traveling quickly over the Earth. It felt very surreal while doing so. It almost seemed that I was being shown a movie.. and yet the movie seemed alive. Like flying over a panoramic movie of a live scene on earth. I believe they have a ride like this at Disneyland.
I have lost much of what I saw, but I held onto the main idea of what I was being told while moving over the planet.. or rather having a movie OF the planet being shown before me…. There were fields of crops all over, in specific. As I would zoom in and get close, for instance, to a field of wheat, I would be told, “This has been poisoned. The food has been altered and poisoned. It is no longer pure. The people are consuming impure food. This is death.” I felt sad and concerned about this and wondered why… or how it was possible. How could a field of wheat or corn be “poisoned”… and WHY?! I was told that man should return to the Earth or death would ensue everywhere. It was said again and again during this scene to “Return to the Earth.” I was told that upon my return, that I should look for pure food, unadulterated.. and only consume that which is “clean,” but I dismissed this somewhat, because I had no intention of returning.

My Guide stood by at a certain time (It is very difficult for me to place any of this in chronological order, as time felt so different there. It was almost as if many things happened at once, and yet separately. So there are parts of this experience, I can’t honestly place in any order.) and he lovingly stayed as my support while I had a kind of life review. I never felt chastised at all, even though I know I’ve been very cruel at times and have hurt many people. I’ve lost my temper in horrible ways and I have had great trouble with forgiveness, and yet, I felt only Love and understanding through the entire life review. What it felt like to me was that I was being given the opportunity and Gift of being able to stand back and more fully understand and love myself. I was able to feel exactly what others around me had felt during my life. I understood how everything I did and said and even thought had touched others around me in one way or another. I was able to even enter the minds and emotional centers of many who had been around me, and understand where they were coming from in their own thinking.. how their own personal views and lives’ experiences had brought them to the places each stood. I felt their own struggling and their own fears… their own desperate need for love and approval.. and more than anything, I could feel how child-like everyone was. With every person I viewed, including myself, I was able to See and Feel with a Higher Mind and Eye. And the feeling I had toward everyone was nothing less than what a loving mother would feel for her own children at toddler age.

It was actually comical at moments. I could feel how the “Elders” as I will call them (these are those who are Helpers on the Other Side.. who have Mastered themselves in many or all ways, and help work with us.) see us and find so much humor in the way we do things. It might seem brutally annoying to consider when we are in the midst of a great argument or drama that is playing out in our lives, that the Elders view these things very much like when a mother sees her two year old scream and cry and bop another child on the head with a stuffed animal. The mother doesn’t want her child to “fall apart” and become hysterical and cry. She feels for her child, but at the same time, she sees a little bit of comedy in how seriously the child takes what is usually a trivial drama. She continues to love her child and thinks the world of it, hoping it will go on enjoying the day, living and learning.
This was a big light bulb moment for me, because I had entertained the dark idea, during my life, that every little less than perfect action of mine, was being watched “by God,” and judged with anger or great sadness. I felt constant guilt for my mistakes and belabored over the dread of “being watched” with severe or at least very stern eyes. I wanted to please, and I believed that I was so often falling short. This had been a maddening way to live. So getting the chance to View others from a much Higher Frequency, was wonderful, to say the least. And Knowing how much Love I felt as I watched or sensed others’ in their personal situations, made me want to live more in joy rather than guilt and worry. No one was mad at me.

I was able to explore the mind or energetic pattern of one of my life’s sworn enemies, -someone I couldn’t imagine forgiving for what I’d witnessed. And yet, coming back from my NDE, I could feel nothing more than such a flood of Love for this woman that I dived in at the chance to write her a letter and tell her how much I loved her, and to ask for forgiveness for the energetic weight I might have held over her from my own dark thoughts and anger. She could have been my own firstborn. That is how much I adored her at that time. Because I was able to feel the Divine Love for her that the Essence that ‘God’ is, feels toward her, I too, couldn’t help but Love her in a similar way. It was such a surprisingly marvelous feeling to relinquish the burden of my own anger and judgments. -Much of which I hadn’t even carried, consciously most of my years.

Surveying all of this, I want to note, that I felt a Higher part of me that had compassion on the ME that was so ignorant and juvenile. It seemed to understand what I was working with, in every detail, and it only wanted for my joy. I felt that toward my own SELF, if that makes any sense. I desired to have my lower self Awaken, and to be filled with Love and Joy. I wanted for my lower, child-like self to be kinder, to be more Conscious, and to find Peace.

I am forever grateful for my Life Review and what I took from it.

I did not have an experience of seeing ‘God’ as an “old man in a big white robe, sitting on a throne,” although, that was the most prominent image I might have held in my mind, formerly. At NDE, ‘God’ was the Mind, or maybe I’d say, “The Order” in all things.. ‘God’ felt to be the Supreme Highest Vibration and Frequency, that felt like more of an ESSENCE than an old man, to me. It was all around and in everything. And ‘God’ no longer felt male to me. I didn’t sense a gender, if there was one. The idea of that just seemed silly to from the Other Side. God was just all that is beautiful and peaceful and One, and all that is Good. And everything DID feel so good to me, there. In fact, I came back with this Knowing that despite what SEEMED “good” or “bad” before… it now became united to be only, “Good.” Because I trusted and Knew that everything was in it’s right place… even when people made decisions that I didn’t agree with myself, I still felt that in the overall picture, it was ALL “Good.” I had this Knowing as well, that there was the essence or spark of the Highest (as I’ll refer to ‘God’) in EVERYTHING. In every mineral, vegetable, animal and human and beyond… I just Knew that the Highest waited within everything to expand and create and grow and experience. I lost all desire to analyze everything in life, as I’d done before through religious examples, by trying to judge everything little thing as being either “good” or “bad.” I wasn’t concerned. We are all just consciousness experiencing life, and learning how to love, create, and develop to the Highest we can be. I knew to choose what felt right for me and to trust more. That when something felt unjust or imbalanced, to do what I could to work toward harmony, but to not worry about that which I had no control over. I know that eventually, even without our taking over the controls, the Universe is so full of Order, it always finds a way to Balance everything, because the Universe cannot exist without perfect Balance. And it will continue to exist.

I had never understood the all-encompassing monster of misery that my “Duality” way of thinking was in my life until my NDE If someone had walked up to me before my NDE and had asked me if my “duality” way of thinking was tiring and miserable for me, I would have been utterly confused and unable to agree with the statement or even make sense of it. I had never been aware of how my mind had always tried to label or judge in one way or another everything I came across. Even if in ways I thought of as “good,” for example, “She’s the nicest..” or “He’s this or that..” or “That backyard is the prettiest one, etc.” It was me judging one thing as better than another. Dual-thinking.
Since coming back from the NDE, I find that in my earthly body and mind, this tendency still comes up occasionally, but not as often, and I am much more conscious of when I am doing it. It no longer appeals to me. I don’t feel the need.

I was able to move around the planet and feel different continents, countries, races, even certain smaller states, cities, and people! Each held it’s own kind of personal vibration and energetic pattern. I learned how we are each made up of so many DIFFERENT or various layers of energetic influence. This was fascinating to me! Each race, each country, even a state, each family, in a way is like one organism. Connected to all, but with an influence of it’s very own and very important purposes. Each is sacred and vital.

While with my Guide, I was shown many planets and also some moons. I saw one planet or moon that appeared to be partially submerged in WATER! There are no words for how beautiful these scenes were. The colors were so vibrant and rich. I especially loved the hue of blues that I saw.
Finally, the planet Earth pulled up in front of me.. or maybe we pulled up in front of it! It was magnificent! It was a floating marble, just swimming with color. I was ecstatic with awe. As I peered out over the planet, my Guide, asked me to go back to where I came from. To return. He said that he would be there, waiting. At this, I turned to him and felt something I cannot put into mere words. When I received his intention that I should return, it seemed as if my own perfect mother, was going to turn and leave me, just a toddler, in the middle of a foreign country, and desert me. It was so unexpected. It seemed that something wrenched inside of me and tore in half. I actually felt myself heave and fall forward, collapsing. The emotional pain was so deep that I could hardly even cry out. It was as the cry imploded within me and I felt that I was fracturing, like shards of glass all about the floor. I felt myself moan without any attempt. It just drained out of me like a cloud so heavy with rain it could no longer hold it’s moisture and lets down a rush of waterfall. I wailed from a place I’ve never felt before. It literally felt as if every organ and cell that was in spirit, was bursting with anguish. Every part of me cried out. Telepathically, all I could express was, “NOOO!!!!!!” I can’t ever go through this part of my NDE without tears and a stinging pain in my chest.

To leave him was the worst imaginable possibility. It felt like the only death there could be. Separation. Division from my one and only. The devastation I felt was unbearable. It still feels like my heart is being scorched, as I recall.

He came closer to me and I was comforted and he calmly encouraged me to be strong. He told me to look to my left. As I did, I saw a school bus pull up in the distance. A small child was escorted out and brought to me. I recognized that it was my own daughter, who at the time was only four years old. She had been asked in her sleep to come in spirit to help me. She walked up to me, tugged at me a little and sweetly said in an encouraging voice, “But Mommy? Who will take care of us?”

Love on the Other Side, at least in my experience is so much bigger, so much more full than here.. And you are more honest with your Love. You cannot turn others away who are in need. At least that was my experience. And there was no way I could have turned down my own daughter’s plea. Without hesitation, I answered, “Oh honey.. I will, of course.” My daughter was then escorted back to the bus.

My Guide smiled knowingly and reminded me that he was not forcing me to go back. I looked at him and back at the planet Earth, feeling so frightened, still not wanting to depart and separate from him. The pain of division still seared through me. I cried and told him that I wasn’t sure I could do it.
He said, “Look to your right.” I looked to my right and saw a holographic figure. It was my own mother. It was a view of her in the future, and she seemed tired and in need of help. I will not go into detail here, because I want to respect her privacy, but I felt myself lean toward this futuristic hologram with the desire to touch or help it somehow, even though it wasn’t presently occurring. It felt alive to me, and I noted that it seemed as I leaned toward her that I was a Gardener, wanting to prune some foliage.

The hologram faded out and my Guide said, “You see? It is time. You want to go.”
I knew I needed to, but still, I was fearful, anticipating my departure and loss of this One. I cried out, “Please! I can’t go without you!”

There was a pause and then he answered, “Very well.”

All at once, I felt we were together. We were one. I was safe and calm. I heard him nudge me, “Point your finger forward. Touch the planet.”

This might seem strange, but I reached forward and saw in Spirit form, my own finger reach forward and enter into the energetic field of the planet. I felt a surge of electricity run from the tip of my finger and begin to move up. As it hit the first knuckle, there was an unbelievable pulling sensation. Like a roller coaster ride that whipped me forward.

Then I was back in my dark room at home. But I felt I was disconnected from my body. My husband must have come to bed, because he was now there, sleeping deeply. I could see him and myself. I moved toward my body and tried to connect. I tried to awaken it. I could not. I began to panic. I could not feel any sensation of my body at all. I urgently pressed my husband to wake up, calling out to him, but my voice was not there. I continued trying to move my body from the inside and with no feeling of breath or life, I started to cry out for help. I screamed. Then I felt my Guide there. I felt him say, “You must push yourself again and again through the throat area. This will trigger a release of energy and he will hear. You must get him to touch you in order to connect.” I could not understand why this would work, but I began to rush through my throat area, over and over, and then I heard a noise come out of the mouth, as the mouth dropped open. It was like a creaking door, slowly opening. A low frog like groan that was just air moving out.

My husband heard this and woke up and asked, “Amy? What is it? What’s the matter?” I couldn’t answer. I tried to scream or cry out to him, but could not. He leaned over and I saw him shake me. I felt through his hands a level of electricity move through me. But I was unable to connect or move. He got up and turned a light on. My eyes were still shut, but I witnessed the look on his face. He suddenly went very pale and his mouth dropped open. Beads of sweat formed instantly around his hair line. He was perspiring heavily. I’d never seen such a frightened look on his face before. He grabbed me and yanked my body upward toward him, trying to hold me up, shouting, “AMY!! AMY, AMY!!!” Again and again. He was trying to check my pulse. My head dropped back and he pulled my eyelids open. He was nearly screaming my name. As he continued to shake my body (he later described as being so heavy, it was shocking… and I was very small/petite at the time.) I felt more and more electricity moving all around my body. Then, I felt something like a POP, and I was back. I sucked in a long, deep breath and just hung there, limply, breathing in and out. Unable to speak.
After a few minutes, my husband was asking, “What should I do? Should I call 911?” I answered firmly, “No. I’m fine. Don’t call anyone. I just need to sit down for a minute.” He helped me to the other room where I sat on the couch and tried to tell him what had happened. I didn’t know where to begin. It took me months to tell him all that I could remember. I still can’t write it all here, because just the basics of all that I came to understand would take me weeks to write. I also continued to have Visions, incredible dreams and more experiences that included personal teachings and other very sacred happenings.

But I felt perfectly fine once I’d come back fully into my body. I refused to any medical check-up. I was confident and at peace.

Since that time, everything has changed for me. My health has returned. I get stronger and stronger each year. To my own surprise, I found the day after this event that I felt well, except that I could not eat any meat at all. Nor did I have any desire to. I’ve been a vegetarian since then. I eat a lot of raw organic foods. I don’t eat anything with chemical ingredients, and keep my food very pure. My children and husband eat mostly this way too now, and we are all feeling great.

I could no longer continue with the religion I grew up in. This was not easy for me to walk away from, but I couldn’t stay and maintain my own personal Truth and integrity. And yet, I have gratitude for having grown up in that religion and trust that it served it’s purpose for me. I am also at peace with the religious choices and needs of others. I found I desired much less. Within the first week after my NDE, I was cleaning out my house, wanting to get rid of many things, a lot of decor, music CDs that I didn’t find in harmony with the vibration I desired, etc.. I lost my desire to want to shop as much as I had, previously.

I had a good couple of weeks after my return where I could see light in and around everything. I could also see into the realm that is around ours. I could see and feel the vibration of everything around me. All of my senses were much stronger. I found much of this interesting and enlightening, and some of it a little scary and disturbing. So, after some time, I willed this extra Sight to step back and let me get back to the basics, so to speak. And things did return to almost normal.
I have continued to have the ability to reach, to a certain extent, my Guide. I began, right away, to meditate, and connect with my Guide.

Jesus, who had always been my example, continued to be an example for me, but I was less concerned with the technicalities of His story and whether certain details were facts or not, and I embraced the core teaching that was intended to be His Gift – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I didn’t care whether he was real or a myth. I knew it didn’t matter. I’d also learned other things about the original Christian Way that had been so corrupted, and I’ve taken much from this.

I opened my reverence and respect to everyone who was or is an example of this basic teaching. -The Golden Rule. I found Good (God) in MANY places and within the teachings of many religions and ways of thought. Even within atheism, if a man believed in this principle, I recognized ‘God’ in him.
Within a couple of days, coming back from my NDE, I stumbled upon a woman who was being consoled by many others. When everyone had dispersed, I asked her what was the matter, and she told me that she’d just found out that her daughter had died. She’d been found in Southern California and she didn’t know why or how she’d died. I asked to see a picture of her daughter, having the strong intuitive sense that I’d met her daughter on the Other Side.

The next day, she met me at my house. She had a black and white picture of her daughter, but I recognized her, right away. I said, “Did she have a pretty reddish color to her hair, and the most unusual green eyes?” She answered, “Yes, she did.” I told her about my NDE and how I’d had this beautiful girl come and speak to me and ask me to give information to her family. I told her all that I could remember her daughter telling me, and it all made perfect sense to the mother. She told me that shortly before the death, she’d heard from others (she and her daughter had been estranged) that her daughter had begun to sing and had loved it, passionately. There was private information I was able to offer that gave this woman much comfort. I told her of her daughter’s regrets in not having learned more while here. We learned a week later or so, through the coroner, how she’d died, which confirmed for me, what the young woman on the Other Side had said to me about her death and what it was like.

I had many, many wondrous things happen since my NDE It would be too much to share here, but it’s been the greatest thing that could ever happen to me.

I still struggle with my own worldly and personal issues. I only feel more Awakened and Conscious, with some abilities and understanding that have increased.

I learned after my return during meditation that I had been pulled into the specific portal with others who had brought themselves to their own demise, because I had for so many years been taking strong medications for my health problems that were slowly killing me. And that I had seen myself as a helpless victim for so long. In my pain and sorrows, I became totally self-absorbed and stagnant in all personal progress. So I learned from seeing the others who had come through in that area, that I had to let go of myself. To give up my personal “story” of being a victim. I gave up all of the labels that doctors had given me for my health problems, and let go of my “story” of what I thought I was. I worked toward humility and opened myself up to learning and growth. I took full responsibility for my own suffering and blamed no one and no thing. I have been trying to bring back what I remember as the Perfect Love I experienced on the Other Side and become One with it.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes. The emotional aspect of the experience was so intense, I can’t find words that are adequate.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Uncertain. I was just very unhealthy at the time with chronic pain and unable to sleep. My doctor was trying to help me by offering me any medication he could find that would numb me through the pain — trying things that were not even pain killers, but would have that side effect.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
While I was out amidst the stars with my Guide and I was being shown or downloaded with all kinds of Knowledge and Truth, I felt so absorbed and focused… so perfectly present in that moment, that I’d forgotten everything from my life on Earth. I forgot about my husband and children for the time being.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal.
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:
While I was out amidst the stars with my Guide and I was being shown or downloaded with all kinds of Knowledge and Truth, I felt so absorbed and focused… so perfectly present in that moment, that I’d forgotten everything from my life on Earth. I forgot about my husband and children for the time being.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes. Everything was much more clear and vibrant. And you could view everything at many different levels. Not just surface.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes. I heard things telepathically. So it doesn’t compare. Everything was perfect because I didn’t have to strain to hear anything.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
I felt absolute elation, bliss, utter peace, and at times, sadness, despair and even fear. But each was relevant to what I was watching or learning or choosing to experience.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes, but it was so fast, I guess that I don’t recall this part well. I remember more of the sensation than what I saw. It was just a strong pull like a vacuum, and very fast from what I remember.
Did you see a light?
Yes. I came into different areas, with different degrees of light. The Guide who was with me had so much Light coming from his face.
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Yes. Those who were moving through the portal, also. Many deceased.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life?
Yes. All compassionate. My Guide stayed close by in support. I felt no judgment. I was only there to come to understand myself and others around me. It was wonderful and relieving.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Yes. I met a girl who had died and later found her mother and was able to verify that it was indeed her daughter who I’d met and been given personal information on.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?
Yes. Lower, more astral like place, and Higher more Light and beautiful place.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes. Time was different. I had a hard time placing the order of things when trying to explain in order what had happened to me. It felt like it had taken so very long, and that I had been given so much information and knowledge, and yet, I don’t think I could have been out of my body for too long, or I don’t know how I would have survived. It may have only been minutes. We don’t know.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I came to trust in all things. I realized there is Perfect Order in all. And that God is the essence or breath of life that is in everything and everywhere. My understanding of what I need, religiously, became much more simple… “Learn to Love.” “Cause no suffering.” Very basic and beautiful.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes. I was very aware that one could not just take off and go absolutely anywhere. I sensed vibrational and frequency boundaries. If your own vibration held to a certain note, so to speak, or channel, it would be like hitting a brick wall to try and move through other places. The most refined could move through all.
Did you become aware of future events?
Uncertain. In a way, yes I did. But I kept much of this to myself. I also knew that certain basic events could be stretched out due to our own choices as humanity, or sped up. These things for me have been accurate, but I have no sense of time with these things. Everything I have perceived as “coming,” feels like NOW, and yet, things happen here, chronologically, in an order and in time. So, it confuses me and I often choose to ignore what I sense.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes. For a while, I could see very well. I could even see at cellular level. I could see something as inanimate as a chair or curtain vibrating. This proved to be too much of a distraction after some time, though, as I was so interested, I couldn’t focus on my daily routines, and asked to have it removed. I also can pull into a meditative like focus and receive answers to my own questions and visions and dreams that have been very prophetic for me and life-changing. I’ve been able to help others with what I’ve Seen with them, but I keep their information private.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes. At first, I only shared it with my husband. I came back quite confused in actuality. In the beginning, I was stunned and out of balance and was trying to describe things I couldn’t yet describe, which made me seem a fool. It took me a good year or two before I could logically explain in a way that sounded intelligible.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real I knew without a doubt that it was real, but back in my own body and surrounded by the same things that I’d been immersed in before, I began to panic and question what my next step would be. I was afraid and wanted to go back. The world felt very frightening to me. I craved the peace that I’d felt on the Other Side. It took me some time to remember all that I’d learned and remind myself to always trust and be at peace with where I currently was in my existence. It was a difficult transition.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?
The most significant was being close to my Guide. And when he told me it was time for my return. I have never experienced emotion that strong. My love for what I felt there, for the peace I felt with my Guide is so strong that I will be happy to return. I used to fear death immensely, because I saw very little beauty in how “God” was described to me and what the eternal “Plan” was. It stopped short in too many places and left me discouraged. I did not desire what I was told. Now, because of my experience, especially with my Guide, and due to the vast amount of beauty I beheld in our Universe, I am at peace and know to leave this body will be wonderful.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real It is still just as vivid, and as time has gone on, it has made even more and more sense to me. In the beginning, much of it was shocking and so different from the reality I’d understood growing up. Now, as I’ve spent so much time in meditation and reconnecting, I see it all as totally logical and perfect. It doesn’t seem strange to me at all. I’d doubt THIS place before I’d doubt THAT one. Nothing made more sense and was more perfect than what was experienced there.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes. My Mormon relatives are more quiet around me. They don’t seem as interested in me. Nobody asks about what I experienced or wants to know. And probably because they see that I’ve changed, and they may worry that I might try and change them. I’m not sure. I have very little desire to try and form friendships or relationships with anyone even slightly superficial. I don’t hate superficial people, I just don’t have patience for it. I’ve wanted more honesty, ..more integrity. I’m not interested in most things that other women are interested in, but that’s okay. I do feel bad occasionally, that my own grandparents and relatives worry about my “salvation” and are saddened by my change in beliefs. I find others that are more like me. I don’t know what I’d call myself, but I recognize these people when I meet them, and that makes me happy. A few members of my family have remained very kind to me, but there is very limited desire to hear anything about my experience from me. My mother only just recently started to ask questions. Most of the family either doesn’t care, doesn’t believe me, or thinks that I must have had mental issues that could have brought it on.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes. I embrace Good wherever I find it and I have no desire to “sign-up” or pledge allegiance to any one club or a religion. I also feel that my politics have changed. I am not a conservative patriot as I was raised to be. Nor am I now a liberal democrat. I consider myself independent. I think for myself. It’s very liberating.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes. I believe I answered as best I could. I have never written my experience out before except in shorter answers to others’ queries, on rare occasion. But never in full. There is much more, but this was the basics. I’m sorry that even the basics took up so much space to write out.

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