One of the best, most comprehensive reports
from the "Flipside" that I've ever read. Everything she reports I've
seen in the research. But the warning about GMO food is powerful and
bears repeating. "Return to the Earth" is a prescription ("Its a cook
book!") for us all.
Amy C’s Near-Death Experience
Amy C’s Near-Death Experience
AMY C’S NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE
Near-Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF)
Since I was 17, I’d had chronic pain, doctors had labeled as
fibromyalgia. It was a torturous existence, and sleep was difficult to
come by. By the time of the experience and even long before, I was
sleeping just fifteen minutes at a time, and then I’d have to move and
stretch in bed, as it was too painful to hold still for long. So, I was
constantly tired. My doctor had an idea for a medication that wasn’t
typically used for sleep, but might have the side-effect of numbing me. I
noticed that whenever I took it, even in the tiniest amounts, my nose
would swell and my breathing became too shallow. It was scary and
uncomfortable, but the relief from pain came, so the temptation to take
it was great. I informed the doctor that I believed I was having an
allergic reaction to the medication and he chuckled and said that my
body simply needed to “get used to the med” and that the amount I was
taking was so low, it couldn’t possibly do anything. He asked me to take
three whole pills. I had been taking one half of a half. One night,
after a week of agonizing pain and no sleep, I considered the doctor’s
prescription of three whole pills and decided to take them all and trust
I went to bed after taking all three and within minutes felt myself
begin to go numb. Then the inside of my nasal passages swelled up and I
couldn’t breathe at all. I couldn’t even open my mouth I was struggling
to get air, but could not. My entire body felt like it was mummified. I
couldn’t call out for help, and it only took a couple of minutes before,
the struggle was over.
There was a strong suction coming from the top of my head (like a
vacuum) and an absolute sense of relief. There was no longer a need to
breathe, and no feeling of being drugged on a medication. I had no sense
of my own body. I’ve forgotten much of this next part, but it seems I
travelled very quickly. This is a void area for me.
The next thing I remember is pulling through some kind of a portal
along with many others. It felt like I was in a waiting room. There were
many others coming through and I began to watch them move in. I watched
a group of about three teenage boys come through who had an energy and
way about them that was very obnoxious. They were big and seemed stupid
and even a little threatening. As I was looking at them, it came to me
that they had died in a car accident where they had all been drunk.
Another woman came through who looked to be in her fifties or so. She
was quite the chatterbox and was talking on and on. I listened to her
for a minute and she told me how proud she was of her “sexy body” and
how well she had taken care of herself in her life. How “good” she’d
“looked.” She proceeded to try and show me her body. I noticed that she
had a fake color of skin, like she’d either been going to tanning booths
or laying out under the sun for way too long. Her hair looked to be a
fake color of blonde and even her breasts looked like she’d had
implants, which I seemed to just know without having to ask. It came to
me that she’d died of skin cancer. She seemed to want to talk about
herself a lot and I became bored and moved on. A lot of others came
through. This room or area did not feel very bright to me, and despite
the fact that I was receiving somehow, information that these people
were dead, I hadn’t accepted that, because everything felt so real and
natural. So seemingly, alive. Nothing felt shocking or strange. I was
simply very curious about what it was all about.
There was a young woman who came up to me. She had beautiful, almost
greenish eyes, and the most lovely shade of red hair. She began to tell
me about herself. She told me that she had died with the feeling that
was similar to drowning.. slowly blacking out with no way to breathe.
And yet, I wasn’t sure if she actually had drowned. While she told me of
her death telepathically, I actually experienced at a certain level,
what she felt. I was able to physically parallel her own memory. She
started to give me orders, “Tell them this…. etc.” “Tell them that,
etc..” She was giving me personal information about herself. I had no
idea why. But I politely listened. One thing she said was that she
wanted me to “Tell them that I loved to sing.” She gave a
quick/impromptu singing performance for those immediately around us, and
I thought her voice was beautiful. I was also awed by how she was free
during her performance to actually elevate herself and move through the
space around her without touching the ground. It was like watching an
underwater dance without the water. I don’t know why I wasn’t more
shocked, or why I accepted this so well. I also noticed how at a certain
part of her song, her beautiful red hair seemed to grow LONGER! I
thought it was interesting that she could choose to have longer hair at
will. This young woman (maybe close to age 19 or 20) also told me how
she had regretted not “hanging in there.” How it “would have been better
to stay” and work out her issues. But she also told me to “Tell them
how free I feel now.”
I must stop and make a clear note that every word that I offer on
communications from my NDE came without actual verbal words. There were
very few technically precise words. What I am relaying is what “came” to
me through telepathic communications. I never felt like I was hearing
anything auditory at all. People would just look at each other.. and
often even with some mouth movements, but the messages would come
through so quickly, without any verbal effort, and from the inside,
rather than outside of self. So when I quote communications here, I am
just offering the closest thing to what was usually being telepathically
I remember that we had congregated into a much bigger and brighter
room or area where there were many, many others present. Everyone was so
busy talking and getting to know each other. It felt similar to the
scene in a High School cafeteria. People even seemed to want to quickly
find others they related to or felt at ease with, and there were even
little “groups” that began to form. At a certain interval, I noticed a
man move into the room. I sensed something about him. He felt safe and
balanced to me. I just knew that I could trust him to tell me what was
going on. It STILL had not occurred to me that I might be dead. And I
wasn’t sure I’d accepted the fact that these people were deceased,
either. So, I moved toward this man (and another note.. moving didn’t
really involve walking.. just intent of desire to GO.) and approached
him with the question, “Who are you?” He looked at me and I realized he
was a kind of teacher or Guide for this group. He explained that he had
died in a truck accident. He had been a truck driver by profession. He
was a Latino man. He told me that he was not a perfect man, but that he
had Mastered Humility. I know that sounds ironic, but when I was with
him, I could feel truly, that he hadn’t a shred of self-regard or as
we’d say, “pride,” about him. He explained, that he had come to help
teach them importance of humility to this group of people, because they
had been so self-absorbed in their lives, they hadn’t been able to learn
vital lessons and had aborted their own lives. He seemed to be telling
me that in one way or another, these people had “Committed Suicide.”
This made me wonder, as I hadn’t noticed anyone in the room who had
hung themselves, intentionally overdosed on drugs, shot themselves, or
things like that. I was a bit confused by how the term, “Suicide” could
come to me with these people. But I came to understand that the casual
disregard for life, and the flagrant and selfish risks that one might
take, whether involved in drug use, drunk driving, or any kind of action
that could essentially lead to one’s own demise is what is considered,
“Suicide..” at least where I was. When a human takes their own life in
desperation, due to emotional or mental imbalances, or physical agony,
or depression so severe, this is very similar to when a very old person
gets so tired of “hanging on” that they WILL themselves to go.. simply
stop eating and breathing, etc.. This is not punished, so to speak, on
the Other Side. It is DIFFERENT. It is just the human, willing
themselves out of this life cycle.
The teacher continued to offer more information. He explained how in
aborting their own lives, these people would have a rest period, but
that learning what they needed to learn would be difficult. I came to
understand that as much as they were taught and infused with good and
helpful information there, and even if they agreed “wholeheartedly” with
what was being taught.. or what they needed to learn, that learning
without a body is like learning to get over an addiction to drugs with
no opportunity to do the drugs! Or like learning to love one’s own enemy
without having enemies to deal with. He explained how he needed to
teach this group of people how vital it is to let go of themselves. How
to lose their obsession with themselves. How they will be stagnant in
all progress if they cannot unchain themselves from their own
self-obsessions. He had to teach them the importance of humility. And
yet, he shook his head, smiling slightly, and he implied that there was
still very little he could help them with, without their bodies. His
hope was to instill more of a passion for what he had to teach, strong
enough that it would leave a seed of Light that might stay with them
through their sojourns.
When this particular teacher was transmitting information to me, as
oddly as it sounds, I felt a jolt of sudden horror. I queried, “What are
these people?” He came in more clearly, telepathically, “They ARE
DECEASED. THEY HAVE DIED.” I asked him point blank, “If these people are
dead, what am I?!” I don’t know why it took me so long to grasp the
fact of this reality. He explained gently, “They are dead. You are in
between. You are as if in a coma. You are not the same.”
With that, I started up, “I have to get out of here, then!” As I
moved toward the corner of the room to leave, at least a couple of the
drunken, stupid boys suddenly lunged at me with words like, “She’s
alive.. touch her!!” It was very creepy. They were actually grabbing at
me and trying to yank me back toward them. They even tried to make
sexual advances. I was horrified. So, I now believe that some of the
dead if not all, still have many earthly or worldly desires.
Looking back at that part of my experience, I was astounded by how
earthy.. how even animal-like people can be on the Other Side. One might
expect that upon entering through Death’s Door, there would be sudden
enlightenment; that maybe everyone would realize absolute goodness and
choose Light and a fresh start, possibly becoming more angelic and
purified, but in that place, everyone came in exactly as they’d been
I’d also wondered at religion while I was there, and I quickly
received the sense that this wasn’t important. That one’s religion, no
matter which they joined or didn’t join on earth, was always what was
written in their own heart. It was about WHO the person was, not what
label they wore or who or what they worshiped or believed in. Your own
frequency, tone, mathematical equation and vibration says it all, and
you can’t tinker with that. You just ARE who you are. I learned that we
are here to learn how to Love, Divinely. And to become Masters of
ourselves. To nail down our own lower natures and to Raise up within
ourselves our own Highest Self. We are all working toward Oneness again.
When I left that initial place, I began to move quickly, and I felt
that I was safe and comfortable. I felt enveloped in Love. There was
someone tending to me, and I seemed to be at absolute peace with this
person. There was so much light coming from this person’s face, I could
scarcely see any features in detail, but faintly remember slightly wavy,
dark hair. And I believe this Guide was male. But even so, I felt a
very maternal sense toward him. It was as if he were like a mother to
me. So, I hesitate to label him with a gender. I’m not too concerned
with that matter, though. I will refer to this Guide as male though, to
make things easier for writing purposes. If I knew his name while with
him, then it was taken from me upon return to my body because I no
longer remember it. (I wouldn’t be shocked to discover that much memory
was pulled from me in regard to personal details of my Guide, because
even my faint memories have been proved painful for me and have made me
ache to return. I can’t imagine remembering more. It would make being
here so much harder.)
We were traveling upward, I suppose. My own vibration was changing.
There was a big change in frequency. Like I was tuning into a different
radio station on a grand scale. I was out in the Universe, and I was
being given a kind of show. Like having an astronomy teacher speak on
the beauty of the Universe while laying under the stars at night. But I
was out there amidst them. And this part seems to have been made foggy
for me since my return, but I remember vaguely that during this scene, I
saw something like holographic words and numbers move in front of me
past the stars… and it felt like I was being downloaded with
information. I felt at that time that I understood EVERYTHING.
felt the full truth of Laws and Order in the Universe. One thing that I
held onto was the beautiful MATH of the Universe. I remember coming to
understand that there was an supreme and perfect kind of MATH that was
in and of ALL things that existed. I remember being told something about
Einstein! I was so excited. It was such a pleasant experience. I was
also shown how there is a kind of clock-work in the sky. How the stars
themselves actually hold a sort of map or mathematical Key to everything
that is! “You are written in the stars,” I was told! EVERYTHING is! I
recall how THRILLING this part of my NDE was for me.
I was also told that this map in the stars.. the keys that are hidden
there have been known for a long time, and that these things have been
sorely corrupted and turned into things of ill purpose in most cases on
All of my life, I had felt confusion and dismay at what I believed
was “lack of order.” When I saw suffering that I deemed, “unnecessary,”
or sadness, …or anything that I couldn’t make sense of, I’d been riddled
with a painful impression of “Chaos.” I was flabbergasted that the God I
so fervently believed in, and was taught to trust, could do no better
than what I beheld in my every day life. It tore at my soul and I prayed
daily and sometimes for hours and hours, begging for an answer that
could provide some kind of a reckoning.
I’d been taught in my life that we had ONE life to live (I’d never
even considered reincarnation), and that some people get to have the
most incredible luxury and wonders that anyone could imagine, and others
are “tested” because of their “valiant spirits” and have to deal with
terrible miseries to “prove their strength”.. while still others.. like
small children all over the world, are born to suffer through starvation
and disease, rape, mutilation, even years and years of torture, only to
die and then “get their just reward.” This didn’t seem like much of a
“test” to me. It just seemed insane. I couldn’t make logic of it. When I
begged religious leaders for answers, I was told that “sometimes God
let’s wicked people torture good people so that He can punish the wicked
for their deeds… otherwise, He couldn’t punish them for anything.” The
whole system just seemed sick to me. I couldn’t completely respect this
In my NDE though, I came to understand that most of us have lived
much, MUCH longer than we could even fathom. That our lives that feel so
very long are infinitesimal when placed in the Whole picture… which for
that matter, cannot even be framed. I was shown how every single
individual through their own free will chooses paths that MATHEMATICALLY
take them to the circumstances of their next existence or life. That
NOTHING at all sits in accident or chaos. That every single aspect of
our lives are ruled by NATURAL Laws that we placed ourSELVES in! That in
a sense, we create our own worlds. I was shown how one can never assume
either, that if someone lives a life of suffering that this is because
of “evil” deeds. Many may CHOOSE a life of suffering because of what it
Awakens in them.. or to help another, etc.. We can NEVER EVER assume
that we can be accurate in guessing why each Being lives the life they
live. I cannot describe the relief… the refreshing, peaceful balm this
Knowledge was for me. To finally gather this Truth that I’d yearned for
all of my life… That all IS Good! That there IS sense and beauty all
around. That no one is just “free-falling” as it had seemed before! That
God doesn’t just get to toy with us as He pleases with random ideas of
tests, including rewards and punishments that just depend upon His
current mood or mindset. While in this experience, out in the vast
expanse of stars and planets, moons, and Knowledge, I Knew complete
Trust for what felt like the first time. This was bliss for me. I had
lived in fear and distrust and panic for 30 consecutive years.
I want to add that in my life, I have always had a mental block when
it came to math. Even the simplest math ideas, starting from the time I
was only six years old were difficult for me to approach. I would shut
down when anything with numbers was presented to me. So, in my NDE,
while being shown such an enormous array of gorgeous mathematical
equations and facts… and visual numerical splendor, I was overjoyed at
my own ability to thoroughly comprehend all of it. Unfortunately, at my
return, I was discouraged to find that I could not relay or bring with
me the expansive amount of math understanding and knowledge I’d been so
anxious to share with others. I was and still am, in love with numbers.
That was a big leap forward!
I was also brought before what appeared to be a living picture of our
planet. While I was looking at it, I saw a word above it. I believe it
was something like, “Novate” or “Novata” or “Novato.” One of those
three. Then the whole planet seemed to open up, like an eyelid that
slowly awakens to dawn. It looked to be one eye opening up. There was a
lovely, soft woman’s voice who spoke the days of the week in a different
language, and then said, “Prepare for the Seventh Day.” At this, I saw
the curious visual of a piano.
The next thing I remember is traveling quickly over the Earth. It
felt very surreal while doing so. It almost seemed that I was being
shown a movie.. and yet the movie seemed alive. Like flying over a
panoramic movie of a live scene on earth. I believe they have a ride
like this at Disneyland.
I have lost much of what I saw, but I held onto the main idea of what
I was being told while moving over the planet.. or rather having a
movie OF the planet being shown before me…. There were fields of crops
all over, in specific. As I would zoom in and get close, for instance,
to a field of wheat, I would be told, “This has been poisoned. The food
has been altered and poisoned. It is no longer pure. The people are
consuming impure food. This is death.” I felt sad and concerned about
this and wondered why… or how it was possible. How could a field of
wheat or corn be “poisoned”… and WHY?! I was told that man should return
to the Earth or death would ensue everywhere. It was said again and
again during this scene to “Return to the Earth.” I was told that upon
my return, that I should look for pure food, unadulterated.. and only
consume that which is “clean,” but I dismissed this somewhat, because I
had no intention of returning.
My Guide stood by at a certain time (It is very difficult for me to
place any of this in chronological order, as time felt so different
there. It was almost as if many things happened at once, and yet
separately. So there are parts of this experience, I can’t honestly
place in any order.) and he lovingly stayed as my support while I had a
kind of life review. I never felt chastised at all, even though I know
I’ve been very cruel at times and have hurt many people. I’ve lost my
temper in horrible ways and I have had great trouble with forgiveness,
and yet, I felt only Love and understanding through the entire life
review. What it felt like to me was that I was being given the
opportunity and Gift of being able to stand back and more fully
understand and love myself. I was able to feel exactly what others
around me had felt during my life. I understood how everything I did and
said and even thought had touched others around me in one way or
another. I was able to even enter the minds and emotional centers of
many who had been around me, and understand where they were coming from
in their own thinking.. how their own personal views and lives’
experiences had brought them to the places each stood. I felt their own
struggling and their own fears… their own desperate need for love and
approval.. and more than anything, I could feel how child-like everyone
was. With every person I viewed, including myself, I was able to See and
Feel with a Higher Mind and Eye. And the feeling I had toward everyone
was nothing less than what a loving mother would feel for her own
children at toddler age.
It was actually comical at moments. I could feel how the “Elders” as I
will call them (these are those who are Helpers on the Other Side.. who
have Mastered themselves in many or all ways, and help work with us.)
see us and find so much humor in the way we do things. It might seem
brutally annoying to consider when we are in the midst of a great
argument or drama that is playing out in our lives, that the Elders view
these things very much like when a mother sees her two year old scream
and cry and bop another child on the head with a stuffed animal. The
mother doesn’t want her child to “fall apart” and become hysterical and
cry. She feels for her child, but at the same time, she sees a little
bit of comedy in how seriously the child takes what is usually a trivial
drama. She continues to love her child and thinks the world of it,
hoping it will go on enjoying the day, living and learning.
This was a big light bulb moment for me, because I had entertained
the dark idea, during my life, that every little less than perfect
action of mine, was being watched “by God,” and judged with anger or
great sadness. I felt constant guilt for my mistakes and belabored over
the dread of “being watched” with severe or at least very stern eyes. I
wanted to please, and I believed that I was so often falling short. This
had been a maddening way to live. So getting the chance to View others
from a much Higher Frequency, was wonderful, to say the least. And
Knowing how much Love I felt as I watched or sensed others’ in their
personal situations, made me want to live more in joy rather than guilt
and worry. No one was mad at me.
I was able to explore the mind or energetic pattern of one of my
life’s sworn enemies, -someone I couldn’t imagine forgiving for what I’d
witnessed. And yet, coming back from my NDE, I could feel nothing more
than such a flood of Love for this woman that I dived in at the chance
to write her a letter and tell her how much I loved her, and to ask for
forgiveness for the energetic weight I might have held over her from my
own dark thoughts and anger. She could have been my own firstborn. That
is how much I adored her at that time. Because I was able to feel the
Divine Love for her that the Essence that ‘God’ is, feels toward her, I
too, couldn’t help but Love her in a similar way. It was such a
surprisingly marvelous feeling to relinquish the burden of my own anger
and judgments. -Much of which I hadn’t even carried, consciously most of
Surveying all of this, I want to note, that I felt a Higher part of
me that had compassion on the ME that was so ignorant and juvenile. It
seemed to understand what I was working with, in every detail, and it
only wanted for my joy. I felt that toward my own SELF, if that makes
any sense. I desired to have my lower self Awaken, and to be filled with
Love and Joy. I wanted for my lower, child-like self to be kinder, to
be more Conscious, and to find Peace.
I am forever grateful for my Life Review and what I took from it.
I did not have an experience of seeing ‘God’ as an “old man in a big
white robe, sitting on a throne,” although, that was the most prominent
image I might have held in my mind, formerly. At NDE, ‘God’ was the
Mind, or maybe I’d say, “The Order” in all things.. ‘God’ felt to be the
Supreme Highest Vibration and Frequency, that felt like more of an
ESSENCE than an old man, to me. It was all around and in everything. And
‘God’ no longer felt male to me. I didn’t sense a gender, if there was
one. The idea of that just seemed silly to from the Other Side. God was
just all that is beautiful and peaceful and One, and all that is Good.
And everything DID feel so good to me, there. In fact, I came back with
this Knowing that despite what SEEMED “good” or “bad” before… it now
became united to be only, “Good.” Because I trusted and Knew that
everything was in it’s right place… even when people made decisions that
I didn’t agree with myself, I still felt that in the overall picture,
it was ALL “Good.” I had this Knowing as well, that there was the
essence or spark of the Highest (as I’ll refer to ‘God’) in EVERYTHING.
In every mineral, vegetable, animal and human and beyond… I just Knew
that the Highest waited within everything to expand and create and grow
and experience. I lost all desire to analyze everything in life, as I’d
done before through religious examples, by trying to judge everything
little thing as being either “good” or “bad.” I wasn’t concerned. We are
all just consciousness experiencing life, and learning how to love,
create, and develop to the Highest we can be. I knew to choose what felt
right for me and to trust more. That when something felt unjust or
imbalanced, to do what I could to work toward harmony, but to not worry
about that which I had no control over. I know that eventually, even
without our taking over the controls, the Universe is so full of Order,
it always finds a way to Balance everything, because the Universe cannot
exist without perfect Balance. And it will continue to exist.
I had never understood the all-encompassing monster of misery that my
“Duality” way of thinking was in my life until my NDE If someone had
walked up to me before my NDE and had asked me if my “duality” way of
thinking was tiring and miserable for me, I would have been utterly
confused and unable to agree with the statement or even make sense of
it. I had never been aware of how my mind had always tried to label or
judge in one way or another everything I came across. Even if in ways I
thought of as “good,” for example, “She’s the nicest..” or “He’s this or
that..” or “That backyard is the prettiest one, etc.” It was me judging
one thing as better than another. Dual-thinking.
Since coming back from the NDE, I find that in my earthly body and
mind, this tendency still comes up occasionally, but not as often, and I
am much more conscious of when I am doing it. It no longer appeals to
me. I don’t feel the need.
I was able to move around the planet and feel different continents,
countries, races, even certain smaller states, cities, and people! Each
held it’s own kind of personal vibration and energetic pattern. I
learned how we are each made up of so many DIFFERENT or various layers
of energetic influence. This was fascinating to me! Each race, each
country, even a state, each family, in a way is like one organism.
Connected to all, but with an influence of it’s very own and very
important purposes. Each is sacred and vital.
While with my Guide, I was shown many planets and also some moons. I
saw one planet or moon that appeared to be partially submerged in WATER!
There are no words for how beautiful these scenes were. The colors were
so vibrant and rich. I especially loved the hue of blues that I saw.
Finally, the planet Earth pulled up in front of me.. or maybe we
pulled up in front of it! It was magnificent! It was a floating marble,
just swimming with color. I was ecstatic with awe. As I peered out over
the planet, my Guide, asked me to go back to where I came from. To
return. He said that he would be there, waiting. At this, I turned to
him and felt something I cannot put into mere words. When I received his
intention that I should return, it seemed as if my own perfect mother,
was going to turn and leave me, just a toddler, in the middle of a
foreign country, and desert me. It was so unexpected. It seemed that
something wrenched inside of me and tore in half. I actually felt myself
heave and fall forward, collapsing. The emotional pain was so deep that
I could hardly even cry out. It was as the cry imploded within me and I
felt that I was fracturing, like shards of glass all about the floor. I
felt myself moan without any attempt. It just drained out of me like a
cloud so heavy with rain it could no longer hold it’s moisture and lets
down a rush of waterfall. I wailed from a place I’ve never felt before.
It literally felt as if every organ and cell that was in spirit, was
bursting with anguish. Every part of me cried out. Telepathically, all I
could express was, “NOOO!!!!!!” I can’t ever go through this part of my
NDE without tears and a stinging pain in my chest.
To leave him was the worst imaginable possibility. It felt like the
only death there could be. Separation. Division from my one and only.
The devastation I felt was unbearable. It still feels like my heart is
being scorched, as I recall.
He came closer to me and I was comforted and he calmly encouraged me
to be strong. He told me to look to my left. As I did, I saw a school
bus pull up in the distance. A small child was escorted out and brought
to me. I recognized that it was my own daughter, who at the time was
only four years old. She had been asked in her sleep to come in spirit
to help me. She walked up to me, tugged at me a little and sweetly said
in an encouraging voice, “But Mommy? Who will take care of us?”
Love on the Other Side, at least in my experience is so much bigger,
so much more full than here.. And you are more honest with your Love.
You cannot turn others away who are in need. At least that was my
experience. And there was no way I could have turned down my own
daughter’s plea. Without hesitation, I answered, “Oh honey.. I will, of
course.” My daughter was then escorted back to the bus.
My Guide smiled knowingly and reminded me that he was not forcing me
to go back. I looked at him and back at the planet Earth, feeling so
frightened, still not wanting to depart and separate from him. The pain
of division still seared through me. I cried and told him that I wasn’t
sure I could do it.
He said, “Look to your right.” I looked to my right and saw a
holographic figure. It was my own mother. It was a view of her in the
future, and she seemed tired and in need of help. I will not go into
detail here, because I want to respect her privacy, but I felt myself
lean toward this futuristic hologram with the desire to touch or help it
somehow, even though it wasn’t presently occurring. It felt alive to
me, and I noted that it seemed as I leaned toward her that I was a
Gardener, wanting to prune some foliage.
The hologram faded out and my Guide said, “You see? It is time. You want to go.”
I knew I needed to, but still, I was fearful, anticipating my
departure and loss of this One. I cried out, “Please! I can’t go without
There was a pause and then he answered, “Very well.”
All at once, I felt we were together. We were one. I was safe and
calm. I heard him nudge me, “Point your finger forward. Touch the
This might seem strange, but I reached forward and saw in Spirit
form, my own finger reach forward and enter into the energetic field of
the planet. I felt a surge of electricity run from the tip of my finger
and begin to move up. As it hit the first knuckle, there was an
unbelievable pulling sensation. Like a roller coaster ride that whipped
Then I was back in my dark room at home. But I felt I was
disconnected from my body. My husband must have come to bed, because he
was now there, sleeping deeply. I could see him and myself. I moved
toward my body and tried to connect. I tried to awaken it. I could not. I
began to panic. I could not feel any sensation of my body at all. I
urgently pressed my husband to wake up, calling out to him, but my voice
was not there. I continued trying to move my body from the inside and
with no feeling of breath or life, I started to cry out for help. I
screamed. Then I felt my Guide there. I felt him say, “You must push
yourself again and again through the throat area. This will trigger a
release of energy and he will hear. You must get him to touch you in
order to connect.” I could not understand why this would work, but I
began to rush through my throat area, over and over, and then I heard a
noise come out of the mouth, as the mouth dropped open. It was like a
creaking door, slowly opening. A low frog like groan that was just air
My husband heard this and woke up and asked, “Amy? What is it? What’s
the matter?” I couldn’t answer. I tried to scream or cry out to him,
but could not. He leaned over and I saw him shake me. I felt through his
hands a level of electricity move through me. But I was unable to
connect or move. He got up and turned a light on. My eyes were still
shut, but I witnessed the look on his face. He suddenly went very pale
and his mouth dropped open. Beads of sweat formed instantly around his
hair line. He was perspiring heavily. I’d never seen such a frightened
look on his face before. He grabbed me and yanked my body upward toward
him, trying to hold me up, shouting, “AMY!! AMY, AMY!!!” Again and
again. He was trying to check my pulse. My head dropped back and he
pulled my eyelids open. He was nearly screaming my name. As he continued
to shake my body (he later described as being so heavy, it was
shocking… and I was very small/petite at the time.) I felt more and more
electricity moving all around my body. Then, I felt something like a
POP, and I was back. I sucked in a long, deep breath and just hung
there, limply, breathing in and out. Unable to speak.
After a few minutes, my husband was asking, “What should I do? Should
I call 911?” I answered firmly, “No. I’m fine. Don’t call anyone. I
just need to sit down for a minute.” He helped me to the other room
where I sat on the couch and tried to tell him what had happened. I
didn’t know where to begin. It took me months to tell him all that I
could remember. I still can’t write it all here, because just the basics
of all that I came to understand would take me weeks to write. I also
continued to have Visions, incredible dreams and more experiences that
included personal teachings and other very sacred happenings.
But I felt perfectly fine once I’d come back fully into my body. I
refused to any medical check-up. I was confident and at peace.
Since that time, everything has changed for me. My health has
returned. I get stronger and stronger each year. To my own surprise, I
found the day after this event that I felt well, except that I could not
eat any meat at all. Nor did I have any desire to. I’ve been a
vegetarian since then. I eat a lot of raw organic foods. I don’t eat
anything with chemical ingredients, and keep my food very pure. My
children and husband eat mostly this way too now, and we are all feeling
I could no longer continue with the religion I grew up in. This was
not easy for me to walk away from, but I couldn’t stay and maintain my
own personal Truth and integrity. And yet, I have gratitude for having
grown up in that religion and trust that it served it’s purpose for me. I
am also at peace with the religious choices and needs of others. I
found I desired much less. Within the first week after my NDE, I was
cleaning out my house, wanting to get rid of many things, a lot of
decor, music CDs that I didn’t find in harmony with the vibration I
desired, etc.. I lost my desire to want to shop as much as I had,
I had a good couple of weeks after my return where I could see light
in and around everything. I could also see into the realm that is around
ours. I could see and feel the vibration of everything around me. All
of my senses were much stronger. I found much of this interesting and
enlightening, and some of it a little scary and disturbing. So, after
some time, I willed this extra Sight to step back and let me get back to
the basics, so to speak. And things did return to almost normal.
I have continued to have the ability to reach, to a certain extent,
my Guide. I began, right away, to meditate, and connect with my Guide.
Jesus, who had always been my example, continued to be an example for
me, but I was less concerned with the technicalities of His story and
whether certain details were facts or not, and I embraced the core
teaching that was intended to be His Gift – “Do unto others as you would
have them do unto you.” I didn’t care whether he was real or a myth. I
knew it didn’t matter. I’d also learned other things about the original
Christian Way that had been so corrupted, and I’ve taken much from this.
I opened my reverence and respect to everyone who was or is an
example of this basic teaching. -The Golden Rule. I found Good (God) in
MANY places and within the teachings of many religions and ways of
thought. Even within atheism, if a man believed in this principle, I
recognized ‘God’ in him.
Within a couple of days, coming back from my NDE, I stumbled upon a
woman who was being consoled by many others. When everyone had
dispersed, I asked her what was the matter, and she told me that she’d
just found out that her daughter had died. She’d been found in Southern
California and she didn’t know why or how she’d died. I asked to see a
picture of her daughter, having the strong intuitive sense that I’d met
her daughter on the Other Side.
The next day, she met me at my house. She had a black and white
picture of her daughter, but I recognized her, right away. I said, “Did
she have a pretty reddish color to her hair, and the most unusual green
eyes?” She answered, “Yes, she did.” I told her about my NDE and how I’d
had this beautiful girl come and speak to me and ask me to give
information to her family. I told her all that I could remember her
daughter telling me, and it all made perfect sense to the mother. She
told me that shortly before the death, she’d heard from others (she and
her daughter had been estranged) that her daughter had begun to sing and
had loved it, passionately. There was private information I was able to
offer that gave this woman much comfort. I told her of her daughter’s
regrets in not having learned more while here. We learned a week later
or so, through the coroner, how she’d died, which confirmed for me, what
the young woman on the Other Side had said to me about her death and
what it was like.
I had many, many wondrous things happen since my NDE It would be too
much to share here, but it’s been the greatest thing that could ever
happen to me.
I still struggle with my own worldly and personal issues. I only feel
more Awakened and Conscious, with some abilities and understanding that
I learned after my return during meditation that I had been pulled
into the specific portal with others who had brought themselves to their
own demise, because I had for so many years been taking strong
medications for my health problems that were slowly killing me. And that
I had seen myself as a helpless victim for so long. In my pain and
sorrows, I became totally self-absorbed and stagnant in all personal
progress. So I learned from seeing the others who had come through in
that area, that I had to let go of myself. To give up my personal
“story” of being a victim. I gave up all of the labels that doctors had
given me for my health problems, and let go of my “story” of what I
thought I was. I worked toward humility and opened myself up to learning
and growth. I took full responsibility for my own suffering and blamed
no one and no thing. I have been trying to bring back what I remember as
the Perfect Love I experienced on the Other Side and become One with
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes. The emotional aspect of the experience was so intense, I can’t find words that are adequate.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Uncertain. I was just very unhealthy at the time with chronic pain
and unable to sleep. My doctor was trying to help me by offering me any
medication he could find that would numb me through the pain — trying
things that were not even pain killers, but would have that side effect.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
While I was out amidst the stars with my Guide and I was being shown
or downloaded with all kinds of Knowledge and Truth, I felt so absorbed
and focused… so perfectly present in that moment, that I’d forgotten
everything from my life on Earth. I forgot about my husband and children
for the time being.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness
during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and
More consciousness and alertness than normal.
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during
the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness
and alertness, please explain:
While I was out amidst the stars with my Guide and I was being shown
or downloaded with all kinds of Knowledge and Truth, I felt so absorbed
and focused… so perfectly present in that moment, that I’d forgotten
everything from my life on Earth. I forgot about my husband and children
for the time being.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday
vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors,
brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of
Yes. Everything was much more clear and vibrant. And you could view everything at many different levels. Not just surface.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday
hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of
sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes. I heard things telepathically. So it doesn’t compare. Everything
was perfect because I didn’t have to strain to hear anything.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
I felt absolute elation, bliss, utter peace, and at times, sadness,
despair and even fear. But each was relevant to what I was watching or
learning or choosing to experience.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes, but it was so fast, I guess that I don’t recall this part well. I
remember more of the sensation than what I saw. It was just a strong
pull like a vacuum, and very fast from what I remember.
Did you see a light?
Yes. I came into different areas, with different degrees of light.
The Guide who was with me had so much Light coming from his face.
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Yes. Those who were moving through the portal, also. Many deceased.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life?
Yes. All compassionate. My Guide stayed close by in support. I felt
no judgment. I was only there to come to understand myself and others
around me. It was wonderful and relieving.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Yes. I met a girl who had died and later found her mother and was
able to verify that it was indeed her daughter who I’d met and been
given personal information on.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?
Yes. Lower, more astral like place, and Higher more Light and beautiful place.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes. Time was different. I had a hard time placing the order of
things when trying to explain in order what had happened to me. It felt
like it had taken so very long, and that I had been given so much
information and knowledge, and yet, I don’t think I could have been out
of my body for too long, or I don’t know how I would have survived. It
may have only been minutes. We don’t know.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I came to trust in all things. I realized there is Perfect Order
in all. And that God is the essence or breath of life that is in
everything and everywhere. My understanding of what I need, religiously,
became much more simple… “Learn to Love.” “Cause no suffering.” Very
basic and beautiful.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes. I was very aware that one could not just take off and go
absolutely anywhere. I sensed vibrational and frequency boundaries. If
your own vibration held to a certain note, so to speak, or channel, it
would be like hitting a brick wall to try and move through other places.
The most refined could move through all.
Did you become aware of future events?
Uncertain. In a way, yes I did. But I kept much of this to myself. I
also knew that certain basic events could be stretched out due to our
own choices as humanity, or sped up. These things for me have been
accurate, but I have no sense of time with these things. Everything I
have perceived as “coming,” feels like NOW, and yet, things happen here,
chronologically, in an order and in time. So, it confuses me and I
often choose to ignore what I sense.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes. For a while, I could see very well. I could even see at cellular
level. I could see something as inanimate as a chair or curtain
vibrating. This proved to be too much of a distraction after some time,
though, as I was so interested, I couldn’t focus on my daily routines,
and asked to have it removed. I also can pull into a meditative like
focus and receive answers to my own questions and visions and dreams
that have been very prophetic for me and life-changing. I’ve been able
to help others with what I’ve Seen with them, but I keep their
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes. At first, I only shared it with my husband. I came back quite
confused in actuality. In the beginning, I was stunned and out of
balance and was trying to describe things I couldn’t yet describe, which
made me seem a fool. It took me a good year or two before I could
logically explain in a way that sounded intelligible.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real I knew without a doubt that it was
real, but back in my own body and surrounded by the same things that I’d
been immersed in before, I began to panic and question what my next
step would be. I was afraid and wanted to go back. The world felt very
frightening to me. I craved the peace that I’d felt on the Other Side.
It took me some time to remember all that I’d learned and remind myself
to always trust and be at peace with where I currently was in my
existence. It was a difficult transition.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?
The most significant was being close to my Guide. And when he told me
it was time for my return. I have never experienced emotion that
strong. My love for what I felt there, for the peace I felt with my
Guide is so strong that I will be happy to return. I used to fear death
immensely, because I saw very little beauty in how “God” was described
to me and what the eternal “Plan” was. It stopped short in too many
places and left me discouraged. I did not desire what I was told. Now,
because of my experience, especially with my Guide, and due to the vast
amount of beauty I beheld in our Universe, I am at peace and know to
leave this body will be wonderful.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real It is still just as vivid, and as time
has gone on, it has made even more and more sense to me. In the
beginning, much of it was shocking and so different from the reality I’d
understood growing up. Now, as I’ve spent so much time in meditation
and reconnecting, I see it all as totally logical and perfect. It
doesn’t seem strange to me at all. I’d doubt THIS place before I’d doubt
THAT one. Nothing made more sense and was more perfect than what was
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes. My Mormon relatives are more quiet around me. They don’t seem as
interested in me. Nobody asks about what I experienced or wants to
know. And probably because they see that I’ve changed, and they may
worry that I might try and change them. I’m not sure. I have very little
desire to try and form friendships or relationships with anyone even
slightly superficial. I don’t hate superficial people, I just don’t have
patience for it. I’ve wanted more honesty, ..more integrity. I’m not
interested in most things that other women are interested in, but that’s
okay. I do feel bad occasionally, that my own grandparents and
relatives worry about my “salvation” and are saddened by my change in
beliefs. I find others that are more like me. I don’t know what I’d call
myself, but I recognize these people when I meet them, and that makes
me happy. A few members of my family have remained very kind to me, but
there is very limited desire to hear anything about my experience from
me. My mother only just recently started to ask questions. Most of the
family either doesn’t care, doesn’t believe me, or thinks that I must
have had mental issues that could have brought it on.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes. I embrace Good wherever I find it and I have no desire to
“sign-up” or pledge allegiance to any one club or a religion. I also
feel that my politics have changed. I am not a conservative patriot as I
was raised to be. Nor am I now a liberal democrat. I consider myself
independent. I think for myself. It’s very liberating.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in
your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes. I believe I answered as best I could. I have never written my
experience out before except in shorter answers to others’ queries, on
rare occasion. But never in full. There is much more, but this was the
basics. I’m sorry that even the basics took up so much space to write