Remembering Paul Tracey

I ran across the eulogy I gave at my friend Paul Tracey's funeral in Phoenix seven years ago. I'm a fan of honoring those odd incidents that occur in your life in some way, and so I'm reprinting it here.  In light of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" debate, it bears repeating that gay people are part of our families... funny how archaic this debate will seem in 5 or 10 years. Like the Civil Rights or Women's Rights debate.  Did we really debate that stuff?  Seems silly now. But here's to you Paul, enjoy. 

Dave Patlak and Paul, circa 1985.

Paul’s Eulogy from Feb. 2003

For years Paul and I would argue over whether or not he’d come to see me in Santa Monica, or whether I’d come and visit him in Arizona... - oh what lengths you would go to win an argument, Paul!

Last time we spoke was a few weeks back.. Told him how he’s going to be an uncle in a few months as Sherry and I are due to have a baby girl.. We laughed about that, and then I complained about his complete inability to use email - something I’ve been after him to do since they invented it.. And I’m amazed to say that in the past ten years I’ve gotten a total of one email from him. And I think he sent that by mistake. He was a phone person - .. We spoke often, more frequently than I do with other friends who live nearby - and every one of our phone conversations was as if we’d just finished up the last one mid-sentence. I fully expect the phone to ring at some date in the future, and Paul and I will pick up where we left off.

Kathy Delaney, Paul, Janet Tuzzolino and Me
freshman year in High school

Where did we leave off? Well, the conversation started in 7th grade. He’d moved to Northbrook with his family and we met on a football field. Paul was a natural athlete, fast, our halfback, I was a guard - I can still remember in glorious detail the “40-cross” that we ran against St. France in a Championship game - Billy Meyer in the backfield, Dave Siebert at my side playing center, 40 cross meant I took Dave’s guy and Dave too mine -and number 40, that was Paul, would take off.. I’ll never forget looking up from the mud to see Paul running for the touchdown that won the game. Silly as it sounds, I’ll never forget that moment. He was poetry in motion. It was our sophomore season that he went into the hospital - as I remember it, he didn’t have to, but had an operation so he could play again - little did we know what the staph infection would do to his hip and keep him from being the athlete he was. Not to say that Paul was such a fan of football, but I know he loved the camaraderie and friendships we had on the field.

Dave Siebert, Kathy Kearney, Paul circa 69

We also traveled together a bit. In grade school during spring break, Paul and I had the brilliant idea to take a Greyhound bus to Florida to visit his grandfather in Deerfield Beach. We thought we were pretty cool, smoking cigars on the way, until we both turned green from the smoke. We got to Florida and burned ourselves to a crisp in a day - and since we spent the next week indoors, got in so many raging arguments that his grandfather, sick of the bickering, actually bought us both plane tickets and sent us home. We were both shocked that his grandfather actually thought we were serious, and laughed about it on the plane home.

But Paul and I spent most of our time laughing. I imagine it was that same sense of humor that inspired me to get into making comedy films. I paid homage to Paul a couple of times - In “Three For The Road,” Charlie Sheen’s character was named after Paul, and I even got him to do a cameo in my film “Limit Up” - he happened to be in LA for the day, stopped down to the set, so I threw him into a scene, which, of course, he nailed in one take. I asked him if he wanted to stick around and watch the filming and he said “I’ve already got my close up, what would I stick around for?”  Sue Bodine sent me an email expressing her condolences; she wrote “All I can think about it Paul the raconteur, standing at a table or piano with such humor and timing, engaging everybody in his earnest story. What does Renee Zellwegger say in that film? “You had me at hello.” He was like that. You loved him before anything happened. He just didn’t know that. We love you Paul.”

Paul, me and Dave Patlak describing the pizza at Numero Uno's in Chicago

It was indicative of the kind of person Paul could be when he gave it some effort. When he put his charm and ability in front of him, he made everything seem effortless.. I know that didn’t prevent him from finding ways to make his life full of effort instead of effortless. I only mention it because we talked about that too, his inability to conquer his demons and the stress it put on those around him. At one point, he was furious with the love of his life Carlos over the fact that Paul had bought him a motorcycle and for whatever reason, Carlos wasn’t able to make the payments… Paul was raging that he couldn’t reach Carlos and wanted to repot the motorcycle. I suggested that in actuality, Carlos had put so much time and effort into their relationship that if you put a dollar figure on it, Paul was into Carlos for much more than the bike was worth. He thought that was hilarious, and promptly sent Carlos the title to the bike and a note telling him the motorcycle was his.  I think Carlos sent him the full amount after that, but my point is that Paul had his own logic of how things and people should be and at his core, he cared deeply about other people’s feelings.

Like when he called to tell me he was ‘coming out of the closet.’ At first he hesitated - his ex girlfriend Nancy Covington had told him I’d never be able to accept Paul being gay, and that my family would freak hen they heard the news. Of course, this coming from the girl who’d sailed to Greece to propose marriage to Paul and was devastated when her proposal was met with the truth - indicative of how honest Paul could be when he wanted to. I had just been to see him in San Francisco, living on his boat “The Endorphin,” and I had gone with Luana, my old girlfriend, who adored Paul up until her dying day - but Luana noted she felt something about Paul was different.  I should have had a clue when his dad looked at me and joked about Paul always having to iron his socks. I was clueless.

My dad, Paul and my mom

So Paul called, “Richard,” He said, with a seriousness unlike I’d heard before - “I have something important to tell you.. And I really don’t know how you’re going to react.” Hmm.. I thought, what could this be?  He said “I’m gay.” Stunned, - I chose the position I always chose when arguing with Paul - that I knew more than him about anything we ever discussed. I said “Like I didn’t already know that!”  He breathed a sigh of relief, I resolved that nothing Paul would ever tell me would be something I couldn’t handle or rather, wouldn’t be something I’d convince him I’d already considered and had a full blow opinion about.  My family’s response was equal to mine - we’ve always loved Paul, having always considered him part of our family - a fifth son - Paul was at just about every wedding and funeral in my family - but when I told my mom that Paul had ’come out of the closet’ she said, “Why can’t he just go back in there with a flashlight?”


I was weighing how to tell my mom the news of Paul’s passing. My dad’s got Alzheimer’s, she’s taking care of him at home - which is stressful as you can imagine - and I didn’t want to add any stress.. So I asked her what she thought happened to a person after they died. She said, “Well, I think they go to a wonderful place.. When you die, it’s beautiful, and you see people you love, and you feel better physically and don’t have any problems.. A place where you’re perfectly happy in the best of health, and all the worries and woes of this life are behind you.”  It was then that I told her that our dear friend Paul had left this planet, and that I thought he had perfectly described where he is now, and how he’s feeling.

A photo of Paul on The Endorphin next to his ashes

I know how much he loved all of you. I know because I haven’t seen most of you in 20 years but he kept me up to date with pride - Hope’s wedding - to which I replied, “Hope, married? Isn’t she still 12?”  About Peter’s job and family, Jack’s living her with his family - Susan the hippie rebel and Pam the practical professional - what you guys have been up to, even hilarious tales of Aunt Rhea - and especially his mom and dad - he was so impressed that his dad is Lance Armstrong senior, riding a bike every day for umpteen mils and how his mom was, as I’ve heard it, winning just about every bridge championship in the country. Maybe he was making it all up, I’ll never know, because you see, Paul and I saw the world we created. I’m sure he’s finding it hilarious to see us all here celebrating him - Dave, Mark, Billy, Dave and Maryanne - I’m sure he’s enjoying this.

Bill Meyer, Mark Caplis and Paul's
red Maple, growing with the help
of some of Paul's ashes.

Finally, we talked a lot about travel - using his sky miles to go somewhere - lately he had a passion for Ireland - He’d sign up with a new long distance phone service every week and get huge chunks of air miles - last year we were swearing we’d go to Ireland.. Something about the lure of the home country called to him, something deeper in his spirit that he longed for, I imagine.. I’m sure he’s here with us today, but I’ll be happy to spread some of his ashes on the Emerald Isle for him if the family would like me to.

I’m hoping one day Paul and I can continue our conversations, maybe in my dreams, and maybe after this life.. I may even admit to him that he’s right now and then.. But my phone’s been ringing this week and there’s no one there, so I’ll assume it’s Paul, but he’s at a loss for words. Thought I hardly think that’s likely. Paul, we’re all going to miss you very much.

Windy City White City

In light of the brouhaha over Muslims v Christians, I've posted my two part documentary "White City/Windy City" - the film was made at the behest of Layalina.tv., and organization created by former Ambassadors Richard Fairbanks and Marc Ginsberg to foster understanding between cultures.  In this case, I chose Chicago and Casablanca as Sister Cities that exhibit tolerance - the documentary was made with the idea of creating a series that would eventually be broadcast in the middle east and the U.S., featuring various Sister Cities and what they have in common.  Either way, I think it stands on its own, if only to hear both Mayor Daley and the Imam of the largest mosque in Casablanca say the identical things, word for word.  Enjoy.  For more info on the film, go to www.layalina.tv

http://sistercitiesdoc.blogspot.com/

Martini On The Rocks

I finally decided to take the tracks out of my closet and put them into a CD... I've been playing Chicago Blues and Boogie Woogie Piano for longer than I can remember, frequently in some piano bar in some far corner of the world.  Over the years, people would ask me if I had a CD, and I would chuckle and say CD? Moi? I played alongside Craig Cole at Les Deux in Hollywood for six months, played with Imminent Disaster Blues Band in LA in various venues around town including Les Deux, and the House of Blues.  A damn fine band. There are various tunes I've written over the years as well as some covers, like "Route 66."  Enjoy. 

Martini On The Rocks at CDBaby.com

Charles Grodin's paean to yours truly...

I got an email from the amazing, hilarious, loyal pal Charles Grodin the other day. When he's not writing plays, starring in films, directing/producing/emceeing, he's saving people in prison who've been incarcerated under bizarre circumstances.  He's an all around amazing guy, and happens to be Godfather to my son.  That being said, I was a bit flabbergasted to read this - which will be posted in his weekly column at the NY Daily News (as of today, they've held it up, perhaps thinking it was about broadway musical producer Richard Martini).  I post it here, because after I read it, I swore I was going to tattoo it to my forehead. In lieu of my forehead; Enjoy.

(PS. His daughter Marion is a brilliant standup commedienne, son Nicholas (on the left) is a terrific actor and has appeared in a number of cool feature films and wife Elissa is an accomplished children's book author. Talk about a tour de force de family...  Look for Chuck to appear in the sequel to Midnight Run, (knock on wood) and he appears on the radio doing hilarious and often touching commentary on your local CBS radio affiliate...)

Richard Martini

My brilliant close friend, Richard Martini said to me recently people who rarely speak often have a strong inner monologue going, so sometimes if they behave strangely when you speak – it’s because you’re interrupting their strong inner monologue.

Richard Martini is so gifted in so many ways – writing – directing – producing – but he has no greater gift than being a devoted friend. When my wife and son wanted to go to Italy, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere except maybe downstairs, so I asked Richard Martini to accompany them – Italy – Martini – hellooo.

He even flew to Africa to be with me ,where I once did a picture.  He got a discount for me on a fabulous rug – two actually.

Recently we were discussing all the distracting DVDs that are now available for cars.  Richard said “We have a great DVD in our car.  It’s called a window.”

God blessed me with having Richard Martini in my life.  Look for your Richard Martini or better yet – be a Richard Martini.

"Salt" to theaters in July...

Just a few words here in praise of "Salt."

I had the great opportunity to work on this film the past year.. I created a previsualization site where everyone on the cast and crew could view the Director's Vision on a daily basis - Phillip Noyce would ask me to search things out for him, and I'd post them daily on this web page.  There was character background info for the actors, links to the story boards, clips of all the locations and just about everything that could go into a film appeared on this one page.  I'd update it every day so that all the crew members were on the same page as Phillip.  Then one day he handed me a digital camera and asked me to shoot some flashback sequences for him - not sure if any will actually make the final cut, but during the editorial process, it was hilarious to see the footage I shot on a Sony HD cam show up on the big screen.  Oh, and I also appear in the film - look for me as a driver for Evelyn Salt when she is brought out of North Korea. I nearly killed my precious cargo when I nearly turned into a huge army truck during the shot, but it was fun speeding around with August Diehl, who plays Salt's husband.

I've seen a rough cut of the film and it jumps off the screen.  Phillip is really a master of this genre, and knows how to take something and amp it up without losing story focus, or what the emotional impact might be. And I can't praise Angelina Jolie enough - I was startled by her ability to nail each scene over and over again, under sometimes bizarre circumstances, while flying, jumping, leaping, kicking or doing all the stuff that she does really well.  It's the first time I'm aware of that she's able to play an action character with multiple levels of personality - in this case, I felt she captured a certain kind of schizophrenia that is written into her character, and I'm amazed at her multiple personas.  A tour de force, or a force majeure, or a force of nature.  Take your pic. Oh, and Liev Schreiber rocks as well.  Another amazing actor who gives nuance a new name.

This is not a movie review, nor is it trying to sell the film in any way.  I think anyone who goes to see it will get a thrill ride out of it, and it always keeps you guessing.  The acting is top drawer, the action isn't over the top, and the story leaves you trying to add up the clues - they're all there, but may require subsequent viewings to nail them all.  Oh, and of course, to catch me on screen.

Rome Center

Looks like I won't be teaching at the Rome Center this summer after all.... La Prossima!

Tibetan Filmmaker sentenced to six years for his documentary

Zurich, 6. January 2010. Dhondup Wangchen, the Tibetan filmmaker who is currently in Chinese detention, has been sentenced to six years imprisonment by the provincial court in Xining (capital of Qinghai province). The sentencing took place on 28 December 2009 but his relatives in Xining were neither informed about the trial nor the verdict.

Outrageous!!!
 This filmmaker made a documentary in Tibet and has been sentenced to six years in prison.

Write a letter, send a fax, to to the webset and watch the movie at http://www.leavingfearbehind.com/downloads.php
Here's my letter to the Minister of Justice:

Jan. 21st, 2010

Minister of Justice of the People's Republic of China
WU Aiying Buzhang
Sifabu
10 Chaoyangmen Nandajie
Chaoyangqu
Beijingshi 100020
People's Republic of China

Dear Minister,

It has come to my attention that an amateur filmmaker has been sentenced to six years in prison for making a film.  I've seen footage from his film "Leaving Fear Behind," and can see that he made a film without much more than his camera and computer. Since the proliferation of video cameras worldwide, anyone can take up a camera and point it in the direction of someone else and ask them a question. 

Certainly the great country of China has it within their power to allow artists to take photographs, or paint pictures, or create music that reflects the times.  I've been to China a number of times, and am always amazed by the breadth, depth and mastery of Chinese artists.  The history of China is replete with artists and craftsmen making artwork that reflects their time in history.  I submit to you that a student asking his fellow citizens what they think of the upcoming Olympics (the 2008 Beijing Olympics) is not an act of sedition, rather it is a time capsule of feelings from the region.

Since China claims that Tibet has always been part of China, I find it ironic that the government doesn't treat their Tibetan brothers with the same dignity and expression that they might allow in their fellow artists in Shanghai or Hong Kong.  Certainly, a filmmaker like Chen Kaige has made films that reflect a time and a place - I submit to you that if China truly considers Tibet to be part of its heritage, then it should allow those artists and filmmakers, even if they're student filmmakers, to be allowed to express themselves.  No flags were burned. No posters were printed. No one was harmed by the telling of this story.  In fact, the opposite is true - its made the government of China appear weak, repressive and frightened by a student with a video camera.
(http://www.leavingfearbehind.com/index.php)

I sincerely hope the Justice system finds a way to right this wrong. Having spent time in Tibet, Shanhai and Beijing myself (as well as Hong Kong), it's apparent that the authorities in Tibet  act with a heavier hand then perhaps in other regions of China.  I will ask my fellow filmmakers here in the U.S. to lend their voices to help get this student (and the monk who assisted him) out of prison and home to his family.

Respectfully,

Richard Martini
Documentary Filmmaker ("Journey Into Tibet")
Member of Director's Guild, Writer's Guild and Screen Actor's Guild (as if that would help!)

Anyways, with a concerted effort towards his release, we all were able to get Tibetan filmmaker Ngawang Choephel out of prison (letters to Amnesty Intl, people like Diana Takata with the Students for a Free Tibet, contributions from many people across the planet) - and he went on to win Sundance last year for his documentary!!!!

It's an amazing story - and at the very least write a letter to protest.. here's the details from his website:

PLEASE WRITE IMMEDIATELY in Mandarin or your own language,
calling on the Chinese authorities to:

> release Dhondup Wangchen immediately and unconditionally, as he has been detained solely for his peaceful exercise of the right to freedom of expression;

> guarantee that while he remains in custody, he is not tortured or otherwise ill-treated, and has access to family, legal assistance of his choosing and any medical care he may require;

> ensure that Dhondup Wangchen’s trial is in line with international fair trial standards;

> conduct a prompt and impartial investigation into the allegations that Dhondup Wangchen has been tortured and otherwise ill-treated, with a view to bringing those responsible to justice.


Minister of Justice of the People's Republic of China
WU Aiying Buzhang
Sifabu
10 Chaoyangmen Nandajie
Chaoyangqu
Beijingshi 100020
People's Republic of China
Fax: +86 10 65292345
Email: pfmaster@legalinfo.gov.cn
Salutation: Dear Minister

Prime Minister of the People's Republic of China
WEN Jiabao Guojia Zongli
The State Council General Office
2 Fuyoujie
Xichengqu
Beijingshi 100017
People's Republic of China
Fax: +86 10 65961109 (c/o Ministry of Foreign Affairs)
Salutation: Your Excellency

Also send copies to diplomatic representatives accredited to your country.

Adventures on Pandora

The beautiful alien planet Pandora depicted in James Cameron's 'Avatar' is so captivating that some audience members are becoming depressed and even suicidal when they fail to find meaning in real life after the film is over.
Writes Jo Piazza for CNN.com:
On the fan forum site "Avatar Forums," a topic thread entitled "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible," has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope. The topic became so popular last month that forum administrator Philippe Baghdassarian had to create a second thread so people could continue to post their confused feelings about the movie...

I'm concerned about these posts about depression for not being able to live as they do on Avatar's Pandora.  I'm a filmmaker, have been researching reincarnation via a documentary ("Over the Rainbow - a tourist's guide the Great Beyond") for the past couple of years, and have been particularly focusing on the work of Michael Newton (Journey of Souls). I was pleased (amazed, astounded) seeing that the Pandora world as depicted in Avatar echoes of what people under hypnosis describe as the "Life Between Lives" or the Afterlife. For those folks who've become depressed, I highly recommend checking out his work, there are interviews with him on youtube, and a number of other hypnotherapists have come to the same conclusions that his 7000 documented patients have come to - that the universe is all energy, that every living thing, every object contains energy, and that its all part of an ecosystem that nature (or God, or whomever) has constructed so that we're all connected at all times.  Avatar like worlds (realms, planes) have been reported from various people under hypnosis - other realms, or planets where we supposedly reincarnate between journeys to Earth.  I don't know if any of this is real or accurate, I can only report that the end result is that people who've gone on these journeys have the profound feeling that they actually have gone on them - the affect is the same.  So if you'd like to visit Pandora, visit a trained hypnotherapist near you (I'm not selling anything, you can google him and find these same details), and happy voyages!

Black Like Me

When I was a kid growing up in Chicago, I remember reading "Black Like Me." It was an impressive story, about a white man who masquerades as a black man in the South. But then I was set straight by the Autobiography of Malcolm X.And Langston Hughes.

I grew up in a white suburb. The only black person I knew well was Kelly, the guy who bagged groceries at the Jewel. He, along with Ben the Shoeman, a Jewish survivor of the holocaust who knew who belonged to every shoe in his shop, was one of the two adults who looked me in the eye and talked to me when I was a kid growing up in a suburb of Chicago. My parents liked Kelly and a couple of times asked if he'd bartend their parties - and Kelly had a heavy hand when it came to pouring drinks, so I can remember being about 11 years old and watching the neighbors get wasted in a few cocktails - and Kelly lost his car keys, so that was a panicked moment, until I figured he'd probably put them in his visor.  When he died, Kelly got front page stories in both the Tribune and the Chicago Sun Times - an amazing person, and my first introduction to African American culture.

My next was in High School.  I had long hair, spent a lot of time thinking of creative ways to ditch school (the ditch king from my high school was made famous in a film by John Hughes, who went to my high school; "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"). One day a teacher approached me and asked if I was interested in being part of a project that married inner city kids with suburban kids - I said "Do I get out of school?" And he said yes - there's field trips that go downtown.  So I joined up - about twenty kids from the inner city, teamed up with white boys and girls from the rich suburbs.

It was hilarious.  This was back in the 70's, so people in the group actually said stuff like "I'm just waiting for the revolution, (the upcoming black revolution predicted by the P Stone Rangers and other groups) and am casing the houses I might want to live in."  I was assigned to Frank Allen - who in every respect was exactly like me - same amount of brothers, football player, musician - he just happened to have a skin color that was closer to coal.  Frank and I became great pals - and we laughed and giggled at the others in the group - including the aforementioned revolutionaries.  We traded homes on more than one occassion - I went down to his place in the projects - many kids claimed they'd never seen a white person up close before, off the TV and one or two would check out my skin.. I'm serious.  Once in an elevator in the Robert Taylor homes public housing, a guy came into the elevator that Frank and I were in - Frank started to giggle and act like he was high - and I started to laugh as well, cause he was laughing so hard. When the guy got off the elevator Frank said "We had to do that to show him we weren't challenging him..." And when Frank came and stayed at our house, he slept on top of the sheets - as if he didn't want to wrinkle anything. And my well meaning parents brought out the family china for him to dine on - I guess to show him that he was an honored guest, I took it as some kind of odd reverse guilt - but my favorite moment was the day Frank and I were at the local Jewel (now that I think of it, I may have introduced him to Kelly, who was still bagging groceries, and who viewed Frank as someone from somewhere else) and ran into a friend of mine's mom - Dave's uptight, suburban mom nearly fainted at the sight of this tall handsome black man in beatler boots and cap (leather) smiling at her.

I mention this casual reflection having seen three terrific films in a row this week; "Precious," "The Blind Side" and "Princess and the Frog."  What they have in common are African American, or black protagonists, antagonists, characters, of all shapes, sizes.. admittedly the cinematic conceipt is that all are from a poorer side of the tracks, but at the same time, each character is different, with different hopes, dreams, desires, and background - a rich cultural slice.  What I loved about Precious, directed by my friend Lee Daniels - who I will now go around claiming to be a very close friend, when in reality we've crossed paths a bit through mutual friends, and I've always been a fan.. what I loved about the film was its portrayal of a world that's never been shown before - even if they appear over the top - Mo'Nique's characterization of Mary Jones is brilliant - I can't think of a worse depiction of a parent, perhaps Jim Colburn in Paul Shrader's film - but she's as memorable a villain as any I've ever seen. The casting was excellent, and I loved the class of girls - each unique, each someone I wanted to know more about after the film was over. As well as the effervescent Paula Patton.. The lead actress Gabourey Sidibe also did a fine job with a few lines.  Just breathtaking filmmaking.

But I have high praise for "The Blind Side" - which is another version of taking someone out of the ghetto and giving them a shot - this happens to be a true story of the amazing Michael Oher.  Wow. I loved the film, and I actually forgot Sandra Bullock was in it until she showed up about ten minutes into the story - and what a hilarious, multi-faceted performance.  I loved the film, kudos to John Lee Hancock, who did such wonderful work with "The Rookie" - he has a nice touch with his actors, and did a masterful job with the adaptation.  It reminded me of my own football days - the action on the field was well done - Not sure if I believed Sandra Bullock would confront the men from Michael's hood on her own, but it felt right, and was something we wanted to see her do - just a great movie all around.

And the Princess and the Frog - well, here we go again.. but in this case highlighting the great music and cultural heritage of New Orleans, one of my favorite towns.  I can see how African Americans could take offense at all of these films - each one is over the top in its own way - Precious created a fantastic reality of people who are in difficult circumstances - Blind Side took a real story and found the humanity in it, and Princess takes a cultural heritage of music and finds a way to weave a great story around Randy Newman's score.. Sure, it should have included the Neville's somewhere - as there's no New Orleans without them - but that's all a way of saying that story telling follows the same rules each time. Put your hero in a tree, throw stones at him or her, then get them out of the tree. If you can find a person with a background that is based in strife, then they're already in the tree, and makes for more compelling story telling... I wonder if people 100 years from now look back on this year as an era when black filmmakers (Tyler Perry and Oprah producing Precious, Perry with his own prodigious output).

As for me, one of these days I'll find a way to tell my own story - I got a call from Frank Allen a few years ago, and he said "Hey Rick, it's Frank, I'm up in San Quentin." And I thought, oh no, something bad has happened to him, so I said "Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that." And he said "No, no, my brother is a guard up here, I'm just visiting."  Frank used to say his only dream was to get out of the ghetto.  He didn't. He had two kids with a local girl, took a job at the Post Office, and basically phone it in for the next twenty years. However, the mother of his daughters did find a way out, and both his girls wound up going to Marquette.  So maybe that's the story I should be telling, instead of this mini review of two wonderful films, and one great Disney flick.  My two cents.

Food, Inc

For those of you who haven't seen this film, make sure that you do.  It's one of those things that you always knew was happening, and is really disturbing to have it in your face. To recap:

1. Chickens grown by Tyson, Perdue, and the other major manufacturers are grown in darkened sheds. The chickens are filled with antibiotics.  Chicken nuggets will turn you into a chicken nugget. The answer: eat organic chicken.

2. Beef is mixed and intermingled with other beef from questionable places of hygiene. Used to be 50 processing plants in the US; now there are 13.  Odds of getting sick go up exponentially.  If a cow eats grass it will shed the ecoil killing bacteria in a matter of weeks.  Answer: Eat grass fed beef only, organic is best.

3. Corn.  By artificially lowering the price of corn, subsidizing the crop, we've driven it into feed bins, into corn syrup, into everything on the grocery shelf.  If it contains Corn syrup, if you value your health, you won't eat it. Corn has been modified genetically - but worse than that, it doesn't belong in the foods its in.  I love corn! But I hate being fed like a cow.

4. Soybeans. Those of you who know me know I made the only feature film about Soybeans ever made. "Limit Up."  Since 1996 Monsanto has cornered the soybean market by patenting their bean, then aggressively prosecuting those who use it - only catch is, it blows into your farm, and if you don't pay them for it, they'll sue you.  90% of all beans are now Monsanto Genetically altered beans - and the FDA won't tell us if the soybean derivative you're eating has been altered. It's outrageous!  I for one am going to boycott all Monsanto products and will encourage anyone in listening range to do so. To make it illegal to use your own soybeans, or to clean old beans is unbelievable.  They are a monopoly and should be broken up - people have to wake up to what we're being fed.

5. Stonyfield. Cool company. Cool CEO. Shows that by purchasing organic you can make a difference. Go to your local market. I just have to figure out how to wean my kids off of chicken nuggets and burgers.. now if someone would open a fast food organic food place!!! Hello?

"A new treatment for autism appears to normalize brain function"

 Not my usual field of interest, but happened to attend a lecture given by Dr. Starr in Santa Monica on the subject of Autism - saw their studies, and the use of this holistic medicine in the treatment of autism. It's based on a native American root that they used to treat depression - and it turns out to have a side effect of helping serotonin be regulated by the body - hence why its effective on autistic kids.  I've seen footage of the trials, and felt compelled to post it anywhere that people might be looking for assistance.  From what I saw and hear, I was really impressed. I have no connection to this program, other than to pass along some interesting results... R

 
Dr. Fred Starr from Nashville and Researcher Elaine DeLack

Study: Respen-A medication appears to normalize brain function in autistic children

13. November 2009 01:19

A new treatment for autism appears to normalize brain function, according to Nashville physician Fred S. Starr, MD, FAACAP, BCIA-EEG.

In addition to high serotonin levels, autistic children have a characteristically common "u" EEG pattern reflecting impaired brain function, particularly in areas of the brain responsible for social interaction, communication, speech and bonding.

However, Quantitative EEG's conducted by Dr. Starr on autistic children after three weeks on the medication Respen-A showed that the children's brain patterning changed to "normal" patterning. Starr says that behavioral improvement was also "evident". "Speech, interaction and social skills improved markedly in patients using Respen-A, and displays of frustration and anger markedly diminished," Starr said.

The theory behind the use of Respen-A was developed by private researcher Elaine DeLack, Stanwood, WA. Unlike theories that center on negative reaction to vaccinations, DeLack looked at exposure to a commonly used drug used during delivery, and at brain enzymes that affect the brain both at birth, and again as the child enters childhood.

DeLack's hypothesis (which can be viewed in slide show format at www.Neuro-Med. net) connects autism to the use of epidurals during childbirth. Epidurals were introduced into this country in the 1960's. By the mid-80's, 22 percent of women received an epidural during delivery. In the mid-90's, the number grew to 67%. Today, nearly 90% of women receive an epidural during pregnancy.

However, DeLack contends that it may not be the epidural procedure, but the drugs given in conjunction with the procedure, particularly the drug Pitocin, that has contributed to increasing numbers in autism.

Pitocin crosses the placenta to the infant's system during childbirth. The drug requires adequate production of an enzyme found in the liver (CYP 3A4) in order to rid it from the body. If the infant has a genetic inadequacy of the CYP 3A4 enzyme (found more often to be lacking statistically in boys than girls), the drug's intensity could become elevated in the infant's system, and build with another naturally occurring neurotransmitter that plays a key role in brain development: the hormone Oxytocin.

Oxytocin builds naturally in the brain during the first 7 - 10 days of life, ensuring that nerve patterning develops as it should in the brain. Once Oxytocin levels reach a naturally predetermined level, the development of the brain's nerve system (HNS system) ceases.

DeLack theorizes that the addition of Pitocin into the bloodstream of infants without adequate CYP 3A4 genetic enzymes, causes brain development to "shut off" early, stunting crucial neuro-development.

DeLack hypothesizes that a second enzyme may explain why autism shows up in many children around the age of three. The enzyme MAO-A is essential in regulating serotonin levels in the brain. In the first years of life, MAO-A levels remain high, assisting brain function. The impact of MAO-A may, in fact, cover symptoms of brain impairment in infants and toddlers.

MAO-A levels diminish as the child ages - allowing serotonin levels to rise, impacting the areas of the brain associated with communication, speech, emotion and bonding. Respen-A curbs the level of serotonin in the autistic brain.

"We see promise in all of this," DeLack says. "Further study will determine if simple modification during childbirth could be all that is needed to stem the surging tide of autism," states DeLack. And for those who have autism? "Respen-A could give them a quality of life that they - and their parents - deserve."

SOURCE Neuro-Med.net

Selling My Film Titles online

Okay, I'm back from my sojourn working on "Salt." I'm going to try and be a little more proactive about selling my titles online. Here's links to the various titles for sale on the net:

https://www.createspace.com/254086 - CANNES MAN AKA CON MAN (with Seymour Cassel, Johnny Depp, Francesco Quinn, Rebecca Broussard)

https://www.createspace.com/254085 - LIMIT UP (with Nancy Allen, Dean Stockwell, Ray Charles as God)

https://www.createspace.com/254083 - CAMERA - DOGME #15 (2nd American Dogme film, with Carol Alt, Angie Everhart, Rebecca Broussard)

https://www.createspace.com/254088 - JOURNEY INTO TIBET (trip from Lhasa to Mt. Kailash with Prof. Robert Thurman)

https://www.createspace.com/254087 - TIBETAN REFUGEE (interviews with Tibetan refugees in Dharamsala, India, includes HH Dalai Lama)

I'm going to put up all my films for sale at some point, but for now, just a couple of clicks and you own your own copy.

Thanks,

Rich

Me on Merv Griffin

Here I am on Merv Griffin. Note the aura.

You Tube clips of Martini Flix

I've got some clips of my films posted at You Tube.

Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=martinifilm&view=videos&sort=v

Oddly enough, one of my clips is a comic excerpt from my film "Camera - Dogme #15" - so far 439,000 people have viewed it.

Why is that?

Because it's labeled "Golden Gate Jumper"? This is just an idea I had while making the overall film about the pervasive presence of video cameras in our lives. I was visiting my pal Dave in SF, and was trying to think of a way to incorporate a video.. and this is what I came up with.

Apologies for those offended by any comic turns on suicide. Not a funny subject. But the complaints are pretty funny from all the people who came to watch someone die, instead watch a comic bit. Furious!

Here' the clip.

Creating a new net presence....

Hi gang,

I've just finished 7 months working on a feature film.

I wasn't able to blog about it as there's a fatwa against talking about the film in print..

However, I'm just mentioning that I will be building a new web presence asap, in the meantime there are some clips from my feature films to the right of this page if you scan down. Enjoy!

Burn them at the stake!!!

Brothers’ shock at allegations challenged

By Jennifer Hough

Thursday, May 21, 2009

IT was difficult to understand why allegations of abuse should have come as such a shock to the Christian Brothers as child sexual abuse was a persistent problem, the Commission of Inquiry in Child Abuse found.

According to the commission, during its investigation, the stance of the Christian Brothers was that their institutions were not abusive and provided a positive experience.

During the investigation committee’s hearings, Br David Gibson, then province leader of St Mary’s Province of the Christian Brothers, outlined the response of the congregation to the issue of child abuse in Ireland.

He said they had great difficulty in coming to terms with the fact that Brothers could have abused children.

"It was something totally contrary to the whole vocation of a Brother and yet we were getting detailed accounts of how Brothers abused children."

It had particular difficulty in accepting that members of its congregation had engaged in sexual abuse, the commission found.

The Christian Brothers submitted that their schools provided positive experiences for the boys in them and that they offered a generally good standard of care, education and training when considered in the context of the time, having regard to shortages of resources and finance, and lack of training for the Brothers.

When answering allegations of sexual abuse in its schools, the Brothers accepted that there were instances when members engaged in the sexual abuse of boys in their care – but denied that there was systemic sexual abuse in their institutions.

According to the commission, there were "several problems" with response statements from the congregation, which generally took the form of a blanket denial of the allegations.

"Some of the statements were signed by Brothers who were not in the school at the time.

"The fact that they had signed the document gave the impression that they were in a position to affirm the facts asserted in statements, but in reality they were in no position to do so," it found.

"Brothers who signed the statements gave evidence to the committee that contradicted the facts asserted in the response statements and some statements simply omitted relevant facts, while at the same time making assertions that were known to be incorrect or misleading."

This story appeared in the printed version of the Irish Examiner Thursday, May 21, 2009

Read more: http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/sncwcwgbau/rss2/#ixzz0G9IGsfNR&B


All right. Enough is enough.

Sorry I've been absent for so long. Just busy doing other stuff.

But this Irish scandal has outraged me. The Christian Brothers were able to successfully sue to keep their names from being publicly exposed in Ireland - the abusers.

Where's the outrage? Where's the internet hero who will find these names and leak them to the net? It can't be that hard to get a list of all the predators who worked in these charnal houses over the past century and post them all. If they want to deny their abuse - or their knowledge of abuse and did nothing to stop it, then let them. The Christian Brothers institution should be punished. Not just monetarily for all the abuse it has heaped upon a nation - it should be forced to pay for what it's done. Turn over all proceeds for the past ten years. Close the schools with the worst abuse. Public flogging. Something!!!!!

The world should be outraged, and they shouldn't let up abusing these abusers until every single one of them is brought to justice. Why just hunt for Nazis when the hunt for pedophiles in the clergy is as justifiable? Burn them all at the stake, to borrow a phrase from the lovely Vatican.

My two cents.

Prop 8 Donors

Well, I was going to write about Obama. But my mind goes back to the Mormon Church sponsoring this Proposition in California that has the state in an uproar.

Here are the names of those who donated for the campaign:

Mormons for 8 Donors

Some interesting highlights. The Republican Party is in for a grand. An old folks home in Adelanto put in 5 Grand. Hey, I've been to Adelanto, these old cowboys got nothing better to do than make gay people feel bad? The Vineyard Group of Mesa Ariz in for $100K. And there's alot more people spending thousands of dollars to propogate the myth that marriage is something other than a legal contract.

Even the Governator came out today against the idiotic proposition.. only a few days late - but he said he thought it would be overturned by the courts.

My gay friends are understandably upset, but what makes this unusual is that they're not going to take it any more. They're rising up, and starting a boycott of those people and organizations that brought this hate filled Prop to our shores. And I say it's hate filled, not because it's about a moral issue, not because it's anti-gay - which of course it is - but because it's nonsense.

As I mentioned previously, the law doesn't recognize weddings. Weddings are the purview of religious groups, ceremonies, what have you. They can dictate whomever they want to be married in their church or in their organization. As a matter of law, marriage is something that is protected by the state, by the government, by the people - but not to prevent people from marrying, as in the case of different races marrying, but in the case of protection from discrimination.

However, I'm inclined to agree with my friends who feel that this is an unjust law thrust upon them by an insensitive public - and if a boycott of their businesses, or their companies, and protests in front of their places of business will help them become more sensitive, then I'm all for it. It took a bus strike for America to wake up to injustice in one community, and if it requires a boycott, then I for one will support it. Just let me know what restaurant, and what old folks home (!) I should stay out of.

Here's the creep roll. I'm boycotting any and all of their products, because they put their money where their mouths are, and they don't really deserve to be fed by the citizens of California.

And it's about time the Mormons stood up to be counted. Maybe now people will shine a light on their history, their belief system, because I believe the truth does set you free. Whether it's Joseph Smith pretending to be able to read an Egyptian hyeroglyphics or baptizing Jews so they can get into Mormon heaven, there's a whole lotta stuff that should and will come out by shining a light on their organization. What's that passage about people living in glass houses throwing stones?

My two cents.

This bears repeating:

It Still Felt Good the Morning After

By FRANK RICH

Published: November 9, 2008

Frank Rich

Our nation was still in the same ditch it had been the day before, but the atmosphere was giddy. We felt good not only because we had breached a racial barrier as old as the Republic. Dawn also brought the realization that we were at last emerging from an abusive relationship with our country’s 21st-century leaders. The festive scenes of liberation that Dick Cheney had once imagined for Iraq were finally taking place — in cities all over America.

For eight years, we’ve been told by those in power that we are small, bigoted and stupid — easily divided and easily frightened. This was the toxic catechism of Bush-Rove politics. It was the soiled banner picked up by the sad McCain campaign, and it was often abetted by an amen corner in the dominant news media. We heard this slander of America so often that we all started to believe it, liberals most certainly included. If I had a dollar for every Democrat who told me there was no way that Americans would ever turn against the war in Iraq or definitively reject Bush governance or elect a black man named Barack Hussein Obama president, I could almost start to recoup my 401(k). Few wanted to take yes for an answer.

So let’s be blunt. Almost every assumption about America that was taken as a given by our political culture on Tuesday morning was proved wrong by Tuesday night.

The most conspicuous clichés to fall, of course, were the twin suppositions that a decisive number of white Americans wouldn’t vote for a black presidential candidate — and that they were lying to pollsters about their rampant racism. But the polls were accurate. There was no “Bradley effect.” A higher percentage of white men voted for Obama than any Democrat since Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton included.

Obama also won all four of those hunting-and-Hillary-loving Rust Belt states that became 2008’s obsession among slumming upper-middle-class white journalists: Pennsylvania and Michigan by double digits, as well as Ohio and even Indiana, which has gone Democratic only once (1964) since 1936. The solid Republican South, led by Virginia and North Carolina, started to turn blue as well. While there are still bigots in America, they are in unambiguous retreat.

And what about all those terrified Jews who reportedly abandoned their progressive heritage to buy into the smears libeling Obama as an Israel-hating terrorist? Obama drew a larger percentage of Jews nationally (78) than Kerry had (74) and — mazel tov, Sarah Silverman! — won Florida.

Let’s defend Hispanic-Americans, too, while we’re at it. In one of the more notorious observations of the campaign year, a Clinton pollster, Sergio Bendixen, told The New Yorker in January that “the Hispanic voter — and I want to say this very carefully — has not shown a lot of willingness or affinity to support black candidates.” Let us say very carefully that a black presidential candidate won Latinos — the fastest-growing demographic in the electorate — 67 percent to 31 (up from Kerry’s 53-to-44 edge and Gore’s 62-to-35).

Young voters also triumphed over the condescension of the experts. “Are they going to show up?” Cokie Roberts of ABC News asked in February. “Probably not. They never have before. By the time November comes, they’ll be tired.” In fact they turned up in larger numbers than in 2004, and their disproportionate Democratic margin made a serious difference, as did their hard work on the ground. They’re not the ones who need Geritol.

The same commentators who dismissed every conceivable American demographic as racist, lazy or both got Sarah Palin wrong too. When she made her debut in St. Paul, the punditocracy was nearly uniform in declaring her selection a brilliant coup. There hadn’t been so much instant over-the-top praise by the press for a cynical political stunt since President Bush “landed” a jet on the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln in that short-lived triumph “Mission Accomplished.”

The rave reviews for Palin were completely disingenuous. Anyone paying attention (with the possible exception of John McCain) could see she was woefully ill-equipped to serve half-a-heartbeat away from the presidency. The conservatives Peggy Noonan and Mike Murphy said so on MSNBC when they didn’t know their mikes were on. But, hey, she was a dazzling TV presence, the thinking went, so surely doltish Americans would rally around her anyway. “She killed!” cheered Noonan about the vice-presidential debate, revising her opinion upward and marveling at Palin’s gift for talking “over the heads of the media straight to the people.” Many talking heads thought she tied or beat Joe Biden.

The people, however, were reaching a less charitable conclusion and were well ahead of the Beltway curve in fleeing Palin. Only after polls confirmed that she was costing McCain votes did conventional wisdom in Washington finally change, demoting her from Republican savior to scapegoat overnight.

But Palin’s appeal wasn’t overestimated only because of her kitschy “American Idol” star quality. Her fierce embrace of the old Karl Rove wedge politics, the divisive pitting of the “real America” against the secular “other” America, was also regarded as a sure-fire winner. The second most persistent assumption by both pundits and the McCain campaign this year — after the likely triumph of racism — was that the culture war battlegrounds from 2000 and 2004 would remain intact.

This is true in exactly one instance: gay civil rights. Though Rove’s promised “permanent Republican majority” lies in humiliating ruins, his and Bush’s one secure legacy will be their demagogic exploitation of homophobia. The success of the four state initiatives banning either same-sex marriage or same-sex adoptions was the sole retro trend on Tuesday. And Obama, who largely soft-pedaled the issue this year, was little help. In California, where other races split more or less evenly on a same-sex marriage ban, some 70 percent of black voters contributed to its narrow victory.

That lagging indicator aside, nearly every other result on Tuesday suggests that while the right wants to keep fighting the old boomer culture wars, no one else does. Three state initiatives restricting abortion failed. Bill Ayers proved a lame villain, scaring no one. Americans do not want to revisit Vietnam (including in Iraq). For all the attention paid by the news media and McCain-Palin to rancorous remembrances of things past, I sometimes wondered whether most Americans thought the Weather Underground was a reunion band and the Hanoi Hilton a chain hotel. Socialism, the evil empire and even Ronald Reagan may be half-forgotten blurs too.

If there were any doubts the 1960s are over, they were put to rest Tuesday night when our new first family won the hearts of the world as it emerged on that vast blue stage to join the celebration in Chicago’s Grant Park. The bloody skirmishes that took place on that same spot during the Democratic convention 40 years ago — young vs. old, students vs. cops, white vs. black — seemed as remote as the moon. This is another America — hardly a perfect or prejudice-free America, but a union that can change and does, aspiring to perfection even if it can never achieve it.

Still, change may come slowly to the undying myths bequeathed to us by the Bush decade. “Don’t think for a minute that power concedes,” Obama is fond of saying. Neither does groupthink. We now keep hearing, for instance, that America is “a center-right nation” — apparently because the percentages of Americans who call themselves conservative (34), moderate (44) and liberal (22) remain virtually unchanged from four years ago. But if we’ve learned anything this year, surely it’s that labels are overrated. Those same polls find that more and more self-described conservatives no longer consider themselves Republicans. Americans now say they favor government doing more (51 percent), not less (43) — an 11-point swing since 2004 — and they still overwhelmingly reject the Iraq war. That’s a centrist country tilting center-left, and that’s the majority who voted for Obama.

The post-Bush-Rove Republican Party is in the minority because it has driven away women, the young, suburbanites, black Americans, Latino-Americans, Asian-Americans, educated Americans, gay Americans and, increasingly, working-class Americans. Who’s left? The only states where the G.O.P. increased its percentage of the presidential vote relative to the Democrats were West Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana and Arkansas. Even the North Carolina county where Palin expressed her delight at being in the “real America” went for Obama by more than 18 percentage points.

The actual real America is everywhere. It is the America that has been in shell shock since the aftermath of 9/11, when our government wielded a brutal attack by terrorists as a club to ratchet up our fears, betray our deepest constitutional values and turn Americans against one another in the name of “patriotism.” What we started to remember the morning after Election Day was what we had forgotten over the past eight years, as our abusive relationship with the Bush administration and its press enablers dragged on: That’s not who we are.

So even as we celebrated our first black president, we looked around and rediscovered the nation that had elected him. “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for,” Obama said in February, and indeed millions of such Americans were here all along, waiting for a leader. This was the week that they reclaimed their country.

Post Mortem - RIP the 2005 campaign & Prop 8

ah... it's over.

finally.

we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

unless you're gay in LA. I think it's interesting to hear and read pundits debate this vote in california. On bill maher last night, it was opined that Hollywood was too chicken to vote down Prop 8 - (Prop Hate) and the evidence was that "Crash" beat "Brokeback Mountain" for an Oscar. C'mon.

It's pretty simple. People are prejudiced. They were and are prejudiced against other minorities that are different than they are. I was part of a program in the 60's called "Wingspread" - where a black high school from the south side of chicago teamed up with a white high school from the suburbs - and a group of students switched with each other. I became friends with the guy that I was assigned to - Frank Allen - despite growing up in the projects, he was like me in many ways, same kinds of interests (blues and piano) same position in football (guard and linebacker) same sense of humor (wacked) a fan of ripple wine that we'd get from Walgreens, we had many many laughs. However, the color of his skin was blacker than any person I'd ever met at the time, and I'll never forget when my friend Dave's mom nearly fainted when she ran into him at the local grocery store. Her three boys stood there and stammered and she had her mouth agape. Frank just smiled. Also remember hanging with him on the South side, and one of his friends little brothers coming over and feeling my arm. "I just wanted to see if the color of your skin would come off," he said "cause I've never touched a white person." That was pretty weird. We lived about 20 miles apart, but lifetimes apart.

But that was the 70's. And when the group of students who gathered together as part of Wingspread went to their final lunch together in Chinatown, I remember how everyone in the group made fun of the Asians in the restaurant - mocking their accents, eyes, etc. I thought to myself, "Wow, people don't learn anything other than their own world view." I was 15 at the time. I saw that prejudice was always there until you got to meet the other person, or minority.

Well it is everywhere. Some 70% of the minorities in California voted for Prop 8, the anti gay marriage ballot. 49% of the white voters voted for it, the rest against. So it was the minority vote that put it onto the books, preventing gays from marrying each other (or being legally bound to each other.)

Hey, I got news for you. And listen up you folks in Mormonland; MARRIAGE IS A CIVIL MATTER OF LAW. A legal matter if you will, which only means something to the state and the courts. A WEDDING IS A MATTER OF RELIGION, or ritual, or getting together, or whatever it is that you want to have to commemorate your vows.

So, people can have whatever wedding ceremony they want. It can be Mormon, it can be Lutheran, it can be on the moon - but it has nothing to do with the eyes of the law, which doesn't recognize a marriage unless it's a contract.

About 50 years ago it was illegal for races to intermarry. Was that a religious choice? I saw in the LA Times today, some nincompoop saying "I was born black. I didn't have a choice. These people weren't born gay. They chose being gay." Well, that's not true. At least if you believe in science - but genetic studies show that people have a predisposition to their sexuality. If you ever ask anyone when they started having feelings for someone else, they'll tell you it's in the early teen years when they start to know what kind of lover they prefer - even if they don't wind up going down that path.

However, I can't let the euphoria of Barack Obama's historic victory to get in the way of my feelings how wrong this Proposition was. I agree that the anti prop 8 people probably missed a chance to go into African American and Latino churches and preach tolerance - but they also missed the opportunity of showing how this is a matter of civil rights - because it's about civil laws - and you can't legislate civil rights away.. at least not while the country has a Constitution. If it's okay for races to intermarry, then it's okay for sexes to intermarry. That's pretty simple. If you're offended by races intermarrying, you have no right to stop them - it's the same with people of the same sex. The legal argument is the same.

So.. they have to go back into court, and they will win in court, because logic and the law is on their side. And until we decide that civil rights don't matter, then it will remain an unsolved mystery - but someone has to get out into the world to teach the truth; gays ARE BORN THAT WAY (as if shouting would help!), Marriage is a matter of civil law, and Weddings are a matter of ceremony - and one has nothing to do with the other.

Barack and Joe say they're "anti gay marriage" but pro gay unions. That's nonsense. I agree it's the most prudent position to take in an election, but it's false - it's based on prejudice. It's based on a belief that marriage has something to do with morality - when we all know how quick divorces can become law, and how easy it is to get married in Vegas but Marriage is a matter of the heart, and a matter of law - and no amount of legislating it is going to change the fundamental truth; gays have a right to marry, just like blacks and whites have a right to marry each other, just like Chinese and Latinos have a right to marry each other, just like an 80 year old business mogul can marry a girl 60 years his junior.

We are either a nation of laws, or we aren't.

my two cents

Sarah Palin punk'd by Canadian Disc Jockeys!

This is hilarious. Sarah Palin thinks she's talking to French President Sarkozy. Wow. Punk'd!!!

Working from CatM's great transcript, I changed a few things, added in the French and explained the cultural references.

SP Assist: This is Betsy.
MA: Hello, Betsy. This is Frank l’ouvrier (Frank the worker], I’m with President Sarkozy, on the line for Governor Palin.

SP Assist: One second please, can you hold on one second please?
MA: No problem.

SP Assist: Hi, I’m going to hand the phone over to her.
MA: Okay thank you very much I’m going to put the president on the line.
SP Assist: Ok he’s coming to the line.

SP: This is Sarah.
MA: Okay, Governor Palin?

SP: Hellloooo...(long drawn out, like Well, hellooooo)
MA: Just hold on for President Sarkozy, one moment.
SP [To someone in the room]: Oh, it’s not him yet, I always do that. I’ll just have people hand it to me right when it’s them.

FNS: Yes, hello, Governor Palin? Yes, hello, Mrs. Governor?
SP: Hello this is Sarah., how are you?

FNS: Fine, and you, this is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?
SP: Oh...so good, it’s so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.

FNS: Oh, it’s a pleasure.
SP: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you and thank you for spending a few minutes to talk to me.

FNS: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American Advisor Johnny Hallyday (the most famous French singer, looks like and sings like Elvis), you know?
SP: Yes! Good!

FNS: Excellent! Are you confident?
SP: Very confident and we’re thankful that the polls are showing that the race is tightening and--

FNS: Well I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting. How do you feel right now my dear?
SP: Ah, I feel so good. I feel like we’re in a marathon and at the very end of the marathon, you get your second wind and you plow to the finish—

FNS: You see, I got elected in France because I’m real and you seem to be someone who’s real as well.
SP: Yes, yeah, Nicolas, we so appreciate this opportunity.

FNS: You know, I see you as a president, one day, you too.
SP: [Muahaaa...weird laugh], maybe in 8 years. Haha

FNS: Well, ah, I hope for you. You know we have a lot in common because personally one of my favorite activities is to hunt too.
SP: [Giggle]o h very good, we should go hunting together.

FNS: Exactly! We could go try hunting by helicopter, like you did, I never did that.
SP: [Giggle]

FNS: Like we say in France, "on pourrait tuer des bébés phoques aussi" [Translation: We could also kill some baby seals.]
SP: [Giggle] Well I think we could have a lot of fun together as we’re getting work done, we can kill two birds with one stone that way.

FNS: I just love killing those animals. Mm, mm. Take away a life, that is so fun!
SP: [Hahahaha]

FNS: I’d really love to go as long as we don’t bring your Vice president Cheney, hahaha.
SP: No, I’ll be a careful shot, yes.

FNS: You know we have a lot in common also except that from my ass I can see Belgium. That’s kind of less interesting than you.
SP: Well, see, we’re right next door to other countries that we all need to be working with, yes.

FNS: Some people said in the last days, and I thought that was mean, that you weren’t experienced enough in foreign relations, and you know, that’s completely false, that’s the thing I said to my great friend, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stef Carse [Stephen Harper is the PM and Stef Carse is a Quebecois country singer who covered Billy Ray Cyrus' Achy Breaky Heart in French in the 90s].
SP: Well, he’s doing fine, too, and yeah when you come into a position underestimated, it gives you the opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder-

FNS: I, I was wondering because you are also next to him, one of my good friends, also, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr. Richard Z. Sirois [a famous Quebec radio host], have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?
SP: Uh, haven’t seen him at one of the rallies, but it’s been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as governor; we have a great cooperative effort there as we work on all of our resource development projects. You know I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife, oh my goodness, you’ve added a lot of energy to your country, even, with that beautiful family of yours.

FNS: Thank you very much. You know my wife, Carla, would love to meet you. You know even though she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today. [Hahahaha]
SP: [Hahahha] Well give her a big hug from me.

FNS: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she’s so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.
SP: Oh my goodness! I didn’t know that.

FNS: Yes, in French, it’s called "Du rouge à lèvres sur une cochonne" [Translate: Lipstick for a sow literally (but not properly) but it actually means an uninhibited girl] or if you prefer in English Joe the Plumber, [sings] It’s his life, Joe the Plumber..."
SP: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism like

FNS: I just want to be sure, I don’t’ quite understand the phenomenon "Joe the Plumber," that’s not your husband, right?
SP: Mmhmm, that’s into my husband but he’s a normal American who just works hard and doesn’t want government to take his money.

FNS: Yes, yes, I understand, we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France, it’s called, "Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit, oui."
SP: Right. That’s what it’s all about, is the middle class, and government needing to work for them. You’re a very good example for us here.

FNS: I seen a bit about NBC even Fox News wasn’t an ally, an ally, sorry, about as much as usual.
SP: Yeah that’s what we’re up against.

FNS: I must say, Governor Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life, you know, Hustler’s "Nailin Palin."
SP: Oh, good, thank you. Yes.

FNS: That was really edgy.
SP: [Laughs] Well good.

FNS: I really love you. And I must say something, so, Governor, you’ve been pranked.
By the Master Avengers. We’re two comedians from Montreal
SP: Oohhh have we been pranked? And what radio station is this? [tries to force herself to sound nice but you can tell she’s pissed]

FNS: This is for CKOI in Montreal.
SP: In Montreal? Tell me the radio station call letters
[SP leaves phone, continuous griping in background, sounds like, "For chrissakes...that was ??? Just a radio station prank...chrissakes..."]

MA: Hello? If one voice can change the world for Obama, one Viagra can change the world for McCain.
[Man’s voice in background: hang up, hang up.]
SP Assist: Hi, I’m sorry, I have to let you go. Um, thank you.

by montsegur1234 on Sat Nov 01, 2008 at 03:43:03 PM PDT

Opie, Andy of Mayberry and Fonzi

Don't know why exactly this brought tears to my eyes.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die