The Reviews are In Prime Time Emmys are Lame!

Wow. The LOWEST rated Emmys in HISTORY.

What's that about?

Can I rant for a bit? Where to begin? First, the article in Vanity Fair about how films have died and t.v. has become the last bastion of quality writing, and filmmaking.. was compelling. Until I tuned into the Emmys. Oy. What fatuousness. Julia Louis Dreyfus got the best line in of the night; supposedly referring to the clip from Seinfeld that covered "an evening of self gratification" and then saying it was about the Emmy night. Couldn't be truer.

The hosts were.. awful. Howie Mandel is hilarious. He should have been up there by himself. He's got the chops to carry this off on his own, without the dead weight around his shoulders. I predict you won't see that mistake again. Worst moments; the awful art direction with the lame sets - filled with nostalgia, or supposedly so. For a happier time. Tom Bergeron is great at what he does, as is Ryan Seacrest - what they aren't great at is giving people some sophisticated laughs without depending upon the lame writing staff of the Emmy's to come up with jokes. Ouch. Jimmy Kimmel milking the "reality show host of the year." It seemed like a bad ad for ABC entertainment. Steven McPherson is a genius, but I wish he was producing the show. This went over like a greasy meatball that didn't want to be digested. Where were the Sopranos when we needed them?

Best moments:
In memoriam. Some real heavyweights passed away this year... Some unbelievable talent who donated years of laughter and tears of joy. Shocking to see so many great talents disappear in the blink of an eye in one year. Steve Martin introducing his old boss and mentor Tommy Smothers was fun. And Tommy actually saying something of substance - it was electrifying. The audience held it's breath, not knowing, or fearing what he'd say. Which is what Hollywood has been doing for 8 years, for fear of pissing off corporate media, the govt., take your pick. Right on Tom. You showed us what we've been missing since you went off the air 40 years ago. Why doesn't someone give Tom a cable access talk show? Tina Fey's acceptance speeches.. she's got the gift of gab. I met her while striking online with fellow WGA writers in NY City. Class act all around. Lorne Michaels has become the grandpa of comedy. He's survived quite a bit. The Josh Grobin bit was funny, although the people I watched it with didn't laugh. Not even a chuckle. But it was a zany bit that worked.

Longest moments:
Ricky G. C'mon mate - even the Director of the show, in his acceptance speech, whined that your bit went on too long. Sure, it bordered on Andy Kaufman creepiness (He was brilliant at making you wonder what was scripted or not) and Steve Carrell's stone face; hilarious - but not.. that.. funny. You're funny. Your speech; hilarious. The bit - too long. And when it's too long, you wind up looking like poor Don Rickles milking an OJ joke. Ouch. Don is hilarious, but not when straight jacketed by timing and writers. Why not just make the dang show 3 hours and stop whining about the time? It's so annoying, like someone standing behind you and poking a finger constantly saying "C'mon, finish, hurry up, let's go.." and if they're worried about time, I've got some edits for them; the accountants (who were clipped anyway) and the Academy director, who went on for an awful long time spouting cliche's about the industry. If you've got nothing to say, you shouldn't be saying it; it makes everyone turn the channel.

The filmed bits for the writing credits turned out to be the funniest of the evening, and everything else.. was like the insipid title. "THE PRIME TIME EMMYS." Oh, were we going to be confused and think they were the "DayTime Emmys?" Which is another name for "soap opera" and daytime yak shows. They aren't in the same league. Why pretend they are by throwing "Prime Time" in the title? What Fox wannabe thought up that one? Trying not to hurt the feelings of those daytime artists? What was that about?

And the women of Wysteria Lane - I'm sorry, the show lost my attention after season one. I'm a fan of Dana Delaney's, and it was fun to see her with a bucket of water thrown in her face.. But they acted as if this show was still something to write home about.. instead of something that seems like a cliche in every aspect. If it wasn't an ABC staple, I'd think they were milking it for some ad revenue. But that's just me.

But the Laugh In sequence - what the heck is the genius Lily Tomlin doing waiting for timing on a half baked, poorly written sketch? Holy Huevos, it was watching Muhammed Ali boxing with Hulk Hogan - these people aren't in the same ring!!! Dick Martin is rolling in his grave - well, he probably is anyways, but had to add that.

So all in all, the Emmys are lucky that had no one watching. They can reboot next year.

My two cents.